Okay, a cliche at the end of this list; a Christian one, but one that I like, unlike these three, shiny little faux diamonds, for example:
1) “Where God guides, God provides.”
Who says it’s “God” guiding, puppets? It could be your imagination, your elder, your toaster…
2) (Another rhymer! Another name for a poor poet)
“If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.”
What if it were you or your Protestant friends who brought you to “it,” puppets? What if God knows nuttin’ about this move, puppets? Who is going to bring you through it? Calvin? Not a chance.
3) “When God closes a door, He opens a window.”
Why in Heaven’s name would He do that? Playing poltergeist? So, are you going to walk or jump through the window, not even sure who the heck opened it in the first place? Or maybe it was simply the wind that had blown closed the door, and not God or your overactive imagination. Tip: If someone (anyone) from your weekly place where you drop-your-sin-like-it’s-hot club tells you Gawd has opened the window, take my advice and ask your enlightened friend to jump first…you’ll follow…maybe…not.
4) Here’s the one I like.
“Born once, die twice. Born twice, die once.”
And, no, I’m not going to explain it, puppets. You should get it; it’s simple, just like the glorious Gospel.
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