Frankly, the “pastor” in question is simply in “zombie mode.” He (or she?) is indoctrinated and is only living out the indoctrination. There is not a single original thought left in this person’s mind. You can ask this person the weather, and the response would be the same.
1) hang up;
2) interrupt, using a Calvinist reference to get his/her attention. Something like “I met MacArthur and he is scary in real life too” or “I gave my heart to Calvin last night…again” or “the ESV is ‘The Message’ of the Calvinist”;
3) when he/she has finally stopped channeling The Institutes/Mac/Sproul/White/Calvin/Platt/Mohler/Piper/The Devil/Bozo the Clown, ask him/her how it makes them really feel to not know the answer to your question;
4) hang up and go for coffee. At once;
5) call back a day later and repeat the whole procedure;
6) call a friend and speak about it (don’t, but don’t go for “Biblical Counseling”).
According to popular myth, insanity is “Repeating the same mistakes over and over again and expecting different results.” Although a popular quote, it is factually incorrect, Oh, and it wasn’t Einstein or Franklin who said it first. No, insanity is something altogether different. But that’s for another day.
“3) when he/she has finally stopped channeling The Institutes/Mac/Sproul/White/Calvin/Platt/Mohler/Piper/The Devil/Bozo the Clown, ask him/her how it makes them really feel to not know the answer to your question”
Hey, that’s excellent! I never thought about asking them how they feel about not being able to answer the question. And these guys are all about feelings. I’m going to remember that for next time!
Ha ha. In my experience they usually resort to ad homenim in order to turn the question on you. Driscoll called it “sinning by questioning”. One should not seek theological discussions with pastors. One simply listens and obeys.
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