Paul's Passing Thoughts

Feelings Must Be Ruled by Objective Truth

Posted in Uncategorized by Paul M. Dohse Sr. on October 30, 2016

ppt-jpeg4Feelings always flow from one’s logic. In addition, one’s thinking construct, if it is healthy, is also complex. Unhealthy feelings are always the result of flawed logic. This is important because feelings co-labor with logic to drive our actions.

With that said, good feelings, bad feelings, and even guilty feelings have their proper place in truthfully evaluated situations. Feelings that flow from hopelessness rarely, if at all, flow from a truthful evaluation of reality. Hopelessness is the result of errant thinking and a distorted logic. Again, hopelessness and truth rarely walk together if at all.

Negative feelings are always tempered by some course of action when they are necessarily experienced in a properly evaluated situation. Always connect your feelings with how you are thinking at the time and evaluate the truthfulness of your thinking accordingly. Feelings of hopelessness are a sure sign that you are partaking in “stinking thinking.”

Let me share a recent experience by way of example. I believe that church has been about justification only since its conception in the 4th century. When Christ came He preached a gospel that made justification and sanctification mutually inclusive though one is a finished act in the life of the believer while the other is progressive. Church makes the function of the two one and the same resulting in a focus on keeping salvation rather than new and abundant life.

This is why TANC Ministries advocates a reversal of that historical focus and precedent. And this is why I chose healthcare as my coming-out-of-retirement career; because I figured it would lend understanding to Christian living more than any other career, and I was right.

So, right now my career is defined by home health care which of course means that I serve needs in people’s personal homes and in the milieu of their lives. That can be good or it can be bad, but will always be bad if you have a simple logic construct defined by feelings alone.

Case in point: I have an account that originally gave me much joy, but now is a burden. Why? What happened? WHY are my feelings different about the account? Initially, I fulfilled immediate needs at GREAT personal expense, and frankly, Susan’s expense as well while evaluating nothing. That’s ok, that’s a good thing and we experienced much satisfaction and joy accordingly.

Then a pattern developed. We the people are too weak to engage successfully in perpetual crisis care; therefore, we the people must be solution oriented. Hard brake/full stop; you cannot help people who are not solution oriented. Neither can you help people who pretend to be solution oriented in order to avoid solutions because solutions necessarily require the doing of something. Yes, you must figure out why said people are not solution oriented and address that problem accordingly before you have any hope of helping them.

Example. Your 20-something son living at home will not get a job. He’s lazy and is sapping your financial resources. He thinks that you are honing in on the problem and is feeling the heat. Therefore, he enrolls in trade school as a prerequisite to getting a job and effectively buys a couple of years because being a fulltime student is easier than working. And by the way, you end up happily paying for the school because he has totally played you into thinking that he is showing some initiative.

This like ploy can be applied to a plethora of life circumstances. You are being used and conned. Your feelings for your son are being used by him to get what he wants from you. Your love for your son is ill-defined according to a lie and you are also what we call an “enabler.” Because our feelings are ill-defined we are often participants in the self-death of others. By protecting others from coming to grips with their own ill-defined fears and feelings we presume ourselves loving.

One may eventually do what is best for the son used as an example which may result in a distress that is very real for him—based on his own ill-defined reality.

This is where this post is headed: perception is reality for that person, but is their perception rightly defined? Here is the position that you may find yourself in accordingly: you have a properly defined love for that person resulting in deep feelings of love. However, the other person feels betrayed, abandoned, and unloved by you based on their errant definitions.

This will lead to bad feelings, but, because of their own misconceptions they will try to make you feel guilty because they think you are guilty of being coldhearted. People’s attempts to make you feel guilty are not always outright manipulation; they actually think you are guilty based on their own flawed logic.

This is very helpful: you know that there misconception makes you feel bad, but you are not guilty; there is a huge difference between bad feelings and guilt. But in both cases these feelings must motivate action.

Back to my original example. When I realized said client refuses to be solution oriented, I began reducing my commitment. In other words, if money is timelife, I stopped throwing good money after bad money. This often means leaving him without care if no other caregiver can be found to cover hours not assigned to me. I am fulfilling the letters of the contract and nothing more.

This is hard because I have strong friendship feelings towards him that are grounded in truth while he is disappointed in me because he defines friendship errantly. Biblically, his definition of a friend is really an enemy. Paul’s question to the believers in Galatia quickly comes to mind:

You know it was because of a bodily ailment that I preached the gospel to you at first, and though my condition was a trial to you, you did not scorn or despise me, but received me as an angel of God, as Christ Jesus. What then has become of your blessedness? For I testify to you that, if possible, you would have gouged out your eyes and given them to me. Have I then become your enemy by telling you the truth?

You cannot be enslaved by you own misconceptions or the misconceptions of others who improperly define the meanings of words and concepts that form perceptions of reality.

Always know why you feel a certain way. Is it a proper response to proper definitions of reality, or unnecessary feelings that flow from ignorance and misinformation?


One Response

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  1. John said, on October 30, 2016 at 2:09 PM

    Who is fooling whom? Sometimes, we see what we want to see, and the same goes for feelings. We feel what we think we ought to (for various reasons), or what we think the other party thinks we ought to. We spend so much time figuring out what we’re supposed to think that we end up not thinking clearly at all. And then the world backfires and confusion erupts, and then it’s back to who is fooling whom?
    For now, I have thought enough for one day, I think.


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