Case # 2008DR00927
“Truly, divorce must be the delight of hell and its many hordes.”
I didn’t want to just post another cliched article on Malachi 2:16 where God says “I hate divorce.” Have you ever thought of that?, God never says specifically why he hates divorce in any passage. There are no “I hate divorce because” verses. It therefore must be surmised from other related biblical topics. I was originally going to title this, “Why Does God Hate Divorce?” There is much biblical information regarding the answer, but my post is from a practical perspective. That’s where I am going to start. How practical is divorce where the rubber meets the road? And why would I start there?
Here is the reason: because I went to a class called, “Helping Children Succeed After Divorce.” It is a class that concerns “Post Parenting.” That is, effective parenting after divorce. Hmmm. Let me phrase it another way: “How to be a parent when you no longer live in the same house with the other parent.” It was required by the courts, case # 2008DR00927. The class was taught by an expert with plenty of experience in this kind of counseling. She does mediation for the courts when the attorneys have trouble working out all of the visitation details and so forth. According to the class, the relationship between the parents now needs to be strictly business and focus on what is best for the children. The class addresses the many difficulties in accomplishing this. Throughout the class, the instructor spoke of the “misery index,” or level in the midst of the process.
Things started to become apparent. First, the misery level of the initial affairs is almost unspeakable. The separation of property down to the keepsakes and that wedding ring that had been passed down from generation to generation. That house you built together, the vacation pictures. The preschool projects your proud children came running home with, revealing talents you never knew they had with the inscription, “mumy and dadi.” No wonder these are ugly affairs, you would almost have to make the other person your enemy to even be able to bear it. Then the children, deciding visitation rights and all of the agreed upon rules accordingly.
Then there is this: Divorces are almost always protracted affairs. The initial shock and awe is over with, but every month, when one spouse sits down to write the alimony check, the wounds are reopened. When job situations change for better or worse, both spouses are right back in the legal wrangling to determine new support amounts. If you are remarried and get a promotion at work, you and your spouse don’t discuss where to celebrate, you discuss how long it is going to take the X to file for increased support and how much you will be able to keep. Why celebrate at all? Furthermore, In the best of financial agreements, items fall through the cracks and the children are left to find out which parent is going to pay for the item. Then there is the whole remarriage thing and how the children handle that. This kind of stuff and a long, long list of more, goes on for years after the initial divorce. Truly, divorce must be the delight of hell and it’s many hordes.
Those who know me also know how much I enjoy asking questions. After listening to all of this damage control counseling, I asked this question: “In your experience as a post parenting counselor, have you ever seen one case where the misery index was less than the level of misery while the marriage was still intact?” Although her long pause and “deer in the headlights” look answered the question, Listen carefully to her actual answer: ” I often tell couples that divorce will not necessarily end the misery or even lesson it. Chances are, it will actually increase the misery level.” That is a profound admission. I then asked another question: “As you have said, being successful in post parenting is very difficult and requires trust, but how can there be trust when one spouse stood before witnesses and vowed to stay with that other person for ‘better or for worse’, and then didn’t do it? Secondly, if marriage counseling is easier and has fewer elements, and they were not successful there, how will they be successful in post parenting?” “For the children,” she said. Do it for the children. So then my final question: “So then, if we are really good at post parenting, we can send a message to our children that there can be a positive outcome to divorce, even though you said prior that the misery level is rarely less and usually more. If the misery level is lower in the marriage, why not rather be successful at marriage and send that message to the children instead?” She didn’t answer the question but her verbal discourse that followed was well spoken. In our society today, staying in a marriage and making it work for the sake of the children is unrealistic and archaic, but the call now by the professionals is to be successful post parents for the sake of the children. Ya, be good at that, 80% of all criminals in this country come from single parent homes.
What would the Bible say about all of the above pragmatism? well, in Psalm 15, the Holy Spirit names some attributes of the righteous. One of them is the following in verse 4: “….who keeps his oath even when it hurts”. Marriage is an oath for better or worse and sometimes it hurts to keep that oath. This is the mark of a righteous person. The Bible gives two reasons and two reasons only for divorce, fornication and abandonment by another spouse via physical departure: “But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace (ICorinthians 7:15).” One reason biblical permission is so narrow is clear, even from a practical perspective, divorce doesn’t solve anything and rarely gives God glory in any respect.
But today’s Church is pregnant with leaders who walk by sight and not by faith. I mean, look at all the “real life” cases. “Look at what a jerk that guy is, and she is such a sweet person.” Surely Paul the apostle did not mean to limit divorce to a literal physical departure! “I know, Paul was talking about a ‘departure in the persons heart’, ya, ya that’s it, it all makes sense now!” Besides, this approach often covers for the inability of leaders to take the word of God and resolve life issues. It also cuts down on all of those pesky phone calls in the middle of the night. The divorce rate in the Church is now the same as the world, and there is a reason for that. With a new wave of mysticism comes a disdain for a literal interpretation of the Bible and it’s call to duty and obedience, robbing Christians of the joy that follows.
My situation is merely case # 2008DR00927 to the county of Montgomery, it might as well be the same in the Church. No big deal. Sure, we know divorce is a public proclamation that states: “I don’t forgive you”, but Paul also said “we are called to peace,” many argue, as if peace is defined by the following issues generated by divorce and well stated by a divorce information website (see following my conclusion). Let me suggest that Paul was saying God has called us to peace as a general principle, so we shouldn’t make decisions that create turmoil when the outcome is uncertain, like say, trying to force an unbelieving spouse to stay in the marriage when they have clearly set their mind on leaving. And by the way, though the following list claims to be comprehensive, it is not even close. It does not address the broken family relationships on both sides including in-laws and all the other relatives, and many other issues.
Let me repeat this from one of my above paragraphs in closing : ” One reason biblical permission is so narrow is clear; even from a practical perspective, divorce doesn’t solve anything and rarely gives God glory in any respect.”
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COMPREHENSIVE MARITAL SETTLEMENT ISSUES
I. PREAMBLE
A. Identification of Parties to AgreementB. Date and Place of Marriage
C. Separation Date
D. Status of Court Filings
E. Identification of Children
F. Intentions in Coming to Agreement
G. Acknowledgment of Current Employment/Income Status II. PARENTING A. Decision Making (Legal Custody) and Primary Residence B. Weekly Residential Schedule C. Holiday and Vacation Periods (overall intention)
D. Substitute Child Care Providers E. Transportation F. Prompt Exercise of Time with Child G. Right to Communicate with Child H. Fostering Affection and Respect I. Access to Information from Schools, etc. J. Parental Cooperation K. Parental Communication L. Safety and Security M. Future Conflict Resolution Process N. Future Review of Parenting Arrangements
P. Responsibility for Extracurricular Activities, Sports Equipment, Lessons, Clothes Q. Education and Other Major Expenses for Children R. Medical/Dental Insurance S. Uninsured Medical Expenses T. Life Insurance (to protect support responsibility)
U. Dependent Deduction V. Gifts to Children W. Agreement to Make a Will
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God’s love and purpose in failure: Luke 22:31-34
“This is the love of Christ, he meets us where we are in weakness with wisdom and extended hand to lead us out no matter how pathetic that picture is, and our failures and lack of faith paint that picture.”
“Simon, Simon, behold, Satan has demanded {permission} to sift you like wheat; but I have prayed for you, that your faith may not fail; and you, when once you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.” But he said to Him, “Lord, with You I am ready to go both to prison and to death!” And He said, “I say to you, Peter, the rooster will not crow today until you have denied three times that you know Me.” Luke 22:31-34.
Christ speaks directly to Peter (formally Simon) and calls his name twice to make sure he had his attention. He knew Peter was still intoxicated by verse 29 where Christ tells the apostles that they will rule with him in the kingdom. Peter had no lack of appetite for such possibilities. Christ then informs Peter of an event at the throne in Heaven. When Satan and his hordes where at God’s thrown for their periodic mandatory parole meeting with God, Satan requested permission to destroy Peter’s faith. We have a clear-cut picture of this in the book of Job:
Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan also came among them. The LORD said to Satan, “From where do you come?” Then Satan answered the LORD and said, “From roaming about on the earth and walking around on it.” The LORD said to Satan, “Have you considered My servant Job? For there is no one like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, fearing God and turning away from evil.” Then Satan answered the LORD, “Does Job fear God for nothing? “Have You not made a hedge about him and his house and all that he has, on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land. “But put forth Your hand now and touch all that he has; he will surely curse You to Your face” ( Job 1:6-11).
Satan is the accuser of the brethren (Rev 12:10). Here he tells God that Job will deny Him if God lets him attack everything Satan thought Job was living for. Satan is asking permission to sift Job like wheat the way they use to separate the chaff from wheat on the threshing floors. In other words, separate Job from his faith. Christ informs Peter that Satan has requested permission to use the situation surrounding his crucifixion to destroy Peters faith. That’s why Christ prays that his faith will not fail. This prayer is according to God’s will because Christ already promises Peter will rule with him in the kingdom; a good lesson for us when we pray, to pray according to God’s will. The one thing we should all admire about Peter was his deep desire and zeal to honor Christ and love him. He thought he was ready; Christ knew he wasn’t and also knew the plan was in place to fix that. Christ informs Peter that his failure would be devastating and then reveals one of the purposes. When this trial was done doing its work, and he “turned again”, he was to “strengthen [his] your brothers.” Always remember this about trials and failures: God wants to use them to teach us so we can strengthen others. Hear this and hear it well, with all of the talk about knowing God’s will, here is something that is clear from the scriptures; when you have overcome a trial or failure in your life, you have your assignment from God.
Not many failures eclipse this one by Peter. He denied God three times, even after being warned that he would. Also, Christ said to Peter and the others just prior to being taken into custody: “and said to them, ‘Why are you sleeping? Get up and pray that you may not enter into temptation'” (Luke 22:46). Peter’s experience and what he learned through this experience may have colored this passage that he wrote at a later time, “Be of sober {spirit,} be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” (IPeter5:8). Peter was not alert in this situation. He failed to remember the specific warning of Christ and obviously failed to pray per the Lord’s instruction. Also, Peter’s plan to be with Christ in that hour was not well thought out and led him into an environment fraught with the possibility of compromise. Also interesting is this: the part Christ assumed, was to pray that Peter would not be separated from the faith. Peter’s part was to pray that he wouldn’t fall into temptation. We colabour with Christ always, knowing however, that he is the keeper of our faith (Phil. 1:6).
But now we come to this reality; that for the Christian, when we fail, the revealing of God’s love will follow. The greater the failure and personal devastation, the clearer we see God’s love. Peter’s spirit was willing but his flesh was weak ( Matthew 26:41 Mark 14:38), but God’s love revealed in failure will motivate us and make us stronger. Peter was not the only one that went AWOL after the resurrection. When Christ comes back in person, he begins to personally restore and uplift the faith of the disciples and other followers. Regardless of what Jesus preached over and over and over again about his death, burial and resurrection while he was with them, here was the mentality among the disciples as illustrated by this discourse with Jesus on the road to Emmaus:
“But we were hoping that it was He who was going to redeem Israel. Indeed, besides all this, it is the third day since these things happened. “But also some women among us amazed us. When they were at the tomb early in the morning, and did not find His body, they came, saying that they had also seen a vision of angels who said that He was alive. “Some of those who were with us went to the tomb and found it just exactly as the women also had said; but Him they did not see” (luke 24:21-24).
1. Jesus did not do what they expected him to do.
2. Jesus said he would rise from the dead, but it’s been three day’s and no one has seen him.
3. Some angels said he was alive, but when some disciples went to the tomb, he wasn’t there.
Yep, that would be us if we were there, trust me. This is the love of Christ, he meets us where we are in weakness with wisdom and extended hand to lead us out no matter how pathetic that picture is, and our failures and lack of faith paint that picture. His goal is to draw us closer to himself through his word:
“And He said to them, “O foolish men and slow of heart to believe in all that the prophets have spoken!” (Luke 24:25).
In addition to the encounter with the disciples on the road to Emmaus, Jesus ministers to more doubting followers as recorded in Luke 24:36-53. The way he counsels them to vanquish doubt is a study in itself. But in conclusion, we come full circle to Peter in John 21. The Lord entices him to profess his love for him three times, once for each time he denied him and then reveals that in the end, Peter would not deny him the second time:
When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Feed my lambs.” He said to him a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Tend my sheep.” He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” and he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep. Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were young, you used to dress yourself and walk wherever you wanted, but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will dress you and carry you where you do not want to go.” (This he said to show by what kind of death he was to glorify God.) And after saying this he said to him, “Follow me” (John 21:15-19).
For sure, at times, Christ rebukes us as he initially did to the two on the road to Emmaus. But the one who loves us and is greater than our failures never beats us down, but uses our failures to show his love for us and make us better for the kingdom. Peter, the rock that Christ built the church on, was not chosen because of his spiritual prowess. Even after everything Peter had learned, The Apostle Paul had to publicly rebuke him for downright silly behavior( Galations 2:11-14). If Christ used Peter in such a mighty way, he will also use you. Learn from your failures and glorify God because of his great Love. But also remember what else Christ seeks in His working with us; as he said to Peter, “Follow me.”
paul
Book Report: Love And Respect; Dr. Eggerichs, Part One
The whole question of how to have a happy marriage has been jettisoned to the front of my consciousness lately. That is why the new book “Love & Respect” by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs has drawn my attention and for two reasons: It immediately brings to mind Ephesians 5:33,
“Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must {see to it} that she respects her husband.”
…and it also looks to speak to both sides of the issue from both husband and wife. More on that later.
I was skepticle. As I purchased the book at the nearest christian book store, I was disappointed that I did not have to order it because as you know, christian book stores usually stock what moves now days, namely, pop-psychology and biblical theories born of the imaginations of men and women who drink too much coffee. However, I am concerned with where I see marriage counseling going in circles that are considered biblical focused by many.
I have finished the first two chapters and though I can tell, I will not agree with everything, the book starts out by delivering on two vital truths that have been lost in today’s biblical counseling, even in reformed circles. First, though the Bible has a myriad of marriage elements to be followed, it also gives very simple, but powerful themes to keep us on track. Dr. Eggerichs has chosen Ephesians 5:33. Without a doubt, many wheels can be added to this primary biblical concept, but this is a theme that can be employed by counselors and married couples to stay on track. This is very very very powerful. Name one marital dispute where love or respect does not come into play. Let me paint you a picture with this scenario of words properly fitted for the occasion:
Now honey, remember, we both agreed that love and respect would be the thrust of our marriage and that we would continually remind each other of this and both work to get better at it. That’s not where this conversation is going, we need to back-up and re-evaluate.
Most marriage counseling is information overload. Look, I have been a security technician for thirty years. I have a gazillion training certificates. Trust me, I could not go back and pass any of those end-of-course examinations. How would any couple take all of that information and consign it to a concise plan of action?, especially when you consider the distractions and busyness of our culture. It is the proverbial forest lost in all the trees. Dr. E himself mentions that at a time in church history when more books than ever have been written on marriage, the divorce rate among professing Christians is fifty percent. As I suspected from the title, Dr. Eggerichs gives marriage couples a narrow focus as a premise to build on. This alone makes the book worth it’s weight in gold.
Secondly, Dr. E hits it out of the park with this statement:
“Many books on marriage stress the need for husbands to love wives, but the unique feature about this book is the concept of wives showing unconditional respect toward husbands” [page 19].
Dr. E pre-qualifies the above statement with this simple but profound observation of Ephesians 5:33:
Christian spouses should not read this verse to say, ” Husbands, love your wives unconditionally, and wives, respect your husbands only if they have earned and deserve it.” As the old saying goes, what is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander. in this verse, respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife [page18].
Let me not mince words here. There is much counseling today that goes something like this: “Get the husband straightened out first because he is the leader of the home and the rest will fall in place naturally.” “The wife will love the husband if he is God’s kind of husband.” “It’s always the husbands fault when there is no love in the home, he has not led by example.” Proponents of this approach actually quote 1 John 4:19 for their proof text:
“We love because he first loved us”
So, they reason, if husbands love their wives the way they should, wives will love them in the same way we love God because he loved us first. Beware of any theology that makes no distinction between vertical and horizontal realities. Such an approach disregards the plain sense of scripture and looks at scripture through a distorted prism. This approach has, and will continue to destroy many marriages by fostering an attitude that respect on the part of the wife is earned by the husband. Well, who is the judge of when he has done that sufficiently? Besides, Ephesians 5:33 would then lend the same to the husband in not loving the wife until he thought she respected him enough, as Dr. E aptly points out. Obviously, that scenario is going nowhere.
However, there is a third emphasis in the first two chapters by Dr. E that the title of the book did not hint at, but is of profound import. In working on and through Ephesians 5:33, both husband and wife must assume that regardless of any lack of love and respect, ultimate good will is always intended by the other. Hey, doesn’t 1Corintians 13:7 say love believes and hopes all things? I will discuss this further in my next play by play reports of this book as well as some disagreements. However, based on the first two chapters alone, I would almost consider it must reading for the reasons above alone.
paul
Book Report: Love And Respect; Dr Eggerichs, Part Two
As I said in part one, the monumental importance of this book is the re-discovery of Ephesians 5:33 and the fact that it will take team work on the part of both spouses to make any marriage work. Ephesians 5:33 breaks down the two primary responsibilities for the husband and wife. The husband is to love his wife and the wife is to respect the husband. Dr. E thinks there are deep reasons for this distinction and he is right. In chapters one and two, he begins to build on this premise with the importance of communication and what I would call needs enablement. I am not big on “love languages” or any kind of hierarchy of needs philosophy, if indeed that is where Dr. E is going with this. It is too early to tell, but he has earned a complete hearing on the matter. For sure, he makes his case on how fallen communication disrupts the Ephesians 5:33 goal. Also, I wouldn’t buy the idea that the husband has to receive respect before he can love the wife, but let’s not focus on that. Suffice to say, if a husband knows he isn’t respected by the wife, it creates a huge obstacle to love and strips the husband of the big H, hope. Why even end up there? Marriage – hope + lack of belief in God’s word = divorce. Divorce is rarely the result of failure on the part of onespouse. Two sinners in the same house with one claiming complete innocence is suspect at best.
More on all of the above later. Going into chapter three, Dr. E addresses “unconditional respect” on the part of the wife and though I am not that far yet, I assume he addresses “unconditional love” on the part of the husband later in the chapter. Where he got the gaul to actually exergete that concept from Ephesians 5:33 is anybodies guess. Gee, could he really be a Dr.? But this is the plain sense of the text by virtue of the fact that Paul presents it as an imperative with no “if”, “ands”, or “but’s.” Paul says the husband is to love his wife and the wife is to respect the husband. End of conversation. But I find Dr. E’s insertion of the truthful but outragous “unconditional respect” concept a breath of fresh air in the junkyard of broken marriage models. Once you grasp this simple concept, you see it everywhere you go as you observe couples functioning in the malieu of life. As Dr. E testifies, wives in troubled marriages will quickly testify that they love their husbands, but when you ask them if they repect their husbands, you get what I call a “Scooby Doo” in the headlights look. It’s not only the look, it’s also the “Uhrrrrr?” One respected pastors wife and counselor put it this way: “Deep, deep down inside, every wife thinks her husband is an idiot.” Who can deny that TV panders to this view thru a mirriad of commercials and sitcoms. Our culture is awash with this mentality in just about every corner and churches are no exception. When was the last time you heard a sermon on “unconditional respect” on the part of the wife? In this chapter, Dr. E discusses the “why” in regard to wives not respecting their husbands and hopefully right thinking that leads to respect and the same in regard to husbands loving their wives. Stay tuned.
paul
2 Peter 1:3-20; How To Have Assurance Of Eternal Life
Second Peter one is an incredible portion of scripture that answers one of the monumental questions of life, how does one know for sure that he is in right standing with God? If a person is full of assurance in this regard, the world cannot shake them save their concern for others. However, in this eternally profound portion of scripture, Peter even addresses the Heavenly mandate for the assured christian in regard to others.Yes, lack of assurance in regard to right standing with God seems to be the curse of the true Christian and Peter knows this. This is evident by the fact that Peter states the keys to assurance while also saying that it will be necessary to continually remind us of them. This was Peters primary focus on the last leg of his lifely mandate from Heaven [verses 12-15]. Why is this? Why is the true christian cursed with this doubt that can at times cripple ones service to God? How can you be effective for God when you are not positive that you are even in his army but unwittingly serving the other army? Well, one reason is because knowledge causes doubt. Our biblical understanding of the human condition and it’s propensity to be deceived is not the least bit comforting. In Matthew 7:21-23, the subjects are astounded that they are not loved by God. Paul the apostle exhorts us to examine ourselves to see if we are “in the faith [2Cor. 13:5].”
Secondly, our battle with the flesh can cause doubt even though we often forget that before we were saved, there was no battle at all. I highly recommend “The Enemy Within” by Kris Lundgaard for a sobering education in regard to our warfare with the flesh.
Before we begin, the hope of verses 10 and 11 is where we want to end up. Peter will teach us how:
2 Peter 1:10
Wherefore the rather, brethren, give diligence to make your calling and election sure: for if ye do these things, ye shall never fall:
2 Peter 1:11
For so an entrance shall be ministered unto you abundantly into the everlasting kingdom of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
There it is. A life of assurance concluded with an “abundant” entrance into the kingdom of God. Let there be no doubt here, this is a “how to” post. God has supplied us with all we need to accomplish his will when we believed [verses 3 and 4], now it is our task to appropriate it. Our God is not a capricious God who at any time wants us to be confused and hopeless. There is always hope because we co-labor with God and he will show us how. This is not our works only or living by a list. Without verses 3 and 4, we cannot do anything nor would we know how. Lost people or the misguided do not dig around in 2 Peter 1 in order to find peace with God. If we do not have assurance, it is not God’s fault, it is our fault. That is why Peter says to “make every effort” in verse 5. That is why he says to “be all the more diligent” in verse 10. To possess assurance and the earnest expectation of a joyful entry into heaven will require “every” effort and diligence. Those who teach otherwise lead God’s people into doubt, discouragement and despair.
In verses 5 thru 8, we find our instruction for obtaining this glorious reality. These verses can be treated as a list, but I think there is something much more here. It seems to me that these characteristics build upon each other much like you build floors of a building one upon the other. It is also possible that each characteristic, when aptly applied, brings a temptation that the supplement or addition thwarts while compounding the effect of the latter. It all starts with faith which is a gift from God, but Peter tells us to add virtue.
arete [ar-et’-ay] properly, manliness (valor), i.e. excellence (intrinsic or attributed):–praise, virtue.
As James says: “faith without works is dead [James 2:17].” This is not only works however, but a mindset to be the best or to excel at these works. It is a moral excellence. Here, we are called to add good works to our faith in a pro-active way. James put it this way:
James 1:27
Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of {our} God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, {and} to keep oneself unstained by the world.
It is easy to see here why we must add works to our faith, the exercise of our faith increases and enhances our faith.
James 2:22
You see that faith was working with his works, and as a result of the works, faith was perfected;
There is also the back and forth contribution between the two as long as the two are properly linked. Faith feeds works and works feed faith. They work together.
Next, Peter says to add knowledge to virtue. He doesn’t say to add it to faith. This is key. It’s easy to add knowledge to faith, but without practice, we have the exact thing James condemns. Christianity already has an abundance of scholars who wouldn’t even dream of stopping to help a stranded motorist. This is due to a missing link in their chain. Among the well known biblical scholars of our age, there is one thing missing, stories of valor [virtuous works, the second link]. In case you haven’t noticed, such events are not missing from Peters life or the other apostles, especially Paul.
Next, Peter says to add “self-control” to knowledge:
egkrates 1468; self-control (especially continence):–temperance.
Without practice, [of knowledge], knowledge cannot increase. The practice or walk here has to do with overcoming the flesh and it’s passions. Peter defines the walk necessary to enhance knowledge of Jesus Christ in four links that also must be added to each other; virtue [pro-active valor] self-control, stead-fastness and godliness.
“If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or [whether] I speak of myself.” John 7:17.
“But solid food is for the mature, who because of practice have their senses trained to discern good and evil.” Hebrews 5:14
Also, in the passage we are looking at, Peter says:
“For if these {qualities} are yours and are increasing, they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” 2 Peter 1:8
The practice of biblical knowledge leads to more knowledge and discernment. Again, these two links work back and forth together and enhance each other. You can’t practice what you don’t know but continued knowledge and the ability to discern will not increase without consistent practice. Does this lend any understanding to you in regard to the rampant error and lack of discernment of our age? New books and knowledge are often driven by imagination rather than virtue.
Next, Peter says to add or supplement self-control with steadfastness.
hupomeno 5278; cheerful (or hopeful) endurance, constancy:–enduring, patience, patient continuance (waiting).
Patience [endurance] must be added to self-control because self-control speaks to the constant and relentless battle with the flesh. It is a war within that entangles us with an inner enemy tenacious enough to wage war against the Spirit:
For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please. Galations 5:17
As I have done before, and will do again, I highly recommend “The Enemy Within” by Kris Lundgaard for good biblical instruction concerning our war with the inner man. To consistently war against the flesh will require endurance. This must therefore be added to self-control.
Next, Peter says to add or supplement endurance with godliness:
eusebes 2152; piety; specially, the gospel scheme:–godliness, holiness.
This word could easily imply and encompass the other three elements of the walk necessary to enhance knowledge with the result of biblically informed obedience. However, using a process of elimination and assuming a lack of redundance on Peter’s part, and applying a meaning that fits the word, I take this to mean a devotion to formal piety. In other words, a devotion to prayer, assembling with other saints and study of God’s word and a well ordered life in that regard. Piety adds structure to the other three. We can certainly see what God did in Daniels life in regard to his faithfulness to word study and prayer [ the whole book of Daniel but especially Daniel 9].
Peter now says to add brotherly effection to piety. The treading gets a little tougher here toward the end of Peter’s chain so any comments are welcome, but it seems that piety and perhaps orthodoxy is nothing without affection towards the brothers. We can see this clearly in regard to the Ephesian church of Revelation 2:1-7. Christ said they where doing well in regard to works [virtue], toil [diligence], patient endurance [perseverance] discernment [result of practice], uncompromise in regard to error [more virtue] and not growing weary [more endurance]. But they were not adding;
agapao 25; love, i.e. affection or benevolence; specially (plural) a love-feast:–(feast of) charity(-ably), dear, love.
The word Peter uses is: philadelphos 5361; fraternal affection:–brotherly love (kindness), love of the brethren.
I contend that Christ had both in mind while speaking to the Ephesians. The Ephesians were doing well but falling short in regard to affection for others and God.
The Ephesian church was doing great in regard to Peters chain, until you get towards the end of the chain. The missing link was love and Christ says to get that in order or all bets are off. Towards the end, love gives the rest of the elements, or works, their validity:
If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have {the gift of} prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed {the poor,} and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing [1Corinthians 13:1-3].
I wonder if an interesting study would be a comparison with Peters chain and the letters of Revelation. In each case, what were their missing links or weak links? When another believer comes to you in regard to weakness in a certain area, what are they missing that is not enabling the other areas of their life?
Lastly, Peter says to add Love to Brotherly Love. This Love is an intimate knowledge of Jesus Christ and does not precede love for others. Again, we have two links that work together. There is no love for Christ that does not include love for others. Note what Peter says in the following verse:
“For if these {qualities} are yours and are increasing, they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” [verse 8]
In Ephesians 3:17, the literal meaning says that when Christ is “at home” in our hearts[comfortable, not grieved, see kenneth Wuest expanded New Testament translation], that we are rooted and grounded in love which leads to:
“may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God” [Ephesians 3:17,18].
I doubt there are any assurance issues if this is your experience. Would you agree with that?
“Therefore, brethren, be all the more diligent to make certain about His calling and choosing you; for as long as you practice these things, you will never stumble [fall into doubt and wavering, my empasis];” [2 peter 1:10]
Listen, The christian walk is a many fauseted approach with many provisions that all work together. Beware of the newest models that do not fit scripture. It is no accident that Peter emmediatly launches into the sufficiency of God’s word and false teachers after presenting this sanctification model that leads to assurance.
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Paul's Passing Thoughts 
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