James 4:1-4; You Do Not Have, Because You Do Not Ask
A pattern throughout the book of James is the author’s pattern of stating a problem, explaining the source or reason for the problem, and then pronouncing the necessary correction. Chapter 4 begins with the problem of “quarrels” and “fights” among the Jewish believers he is addressing [By the way, the fact that Bible writers address Jewish believers separately in the New Testament without any encouragement to assimilate into a church melting pot does not fair well for New Covenant Theology or Amillennialism].
James states the problem, quarrels. Then he states the cause, desires. Then he sites 3 corrections that also revisit the causes and further qualifies them.
The first correction seems brutally pragmatic, but remember, this is James writing. They don’t have because they don’t ask God and not having incites the desires within them. Lack of want always creates temptation, but if your needs are met, the temptation isn’t there, pretty basic. Do you think the Bible is void of these kinds of raw, practical applications? Granted, James is going to go much deeper than this, but remember what Paul’s counsel is to singles who struggle with lust: Get married! [1Cor 7:8,9]. Likewise, let’s say the Holy Spirit convicts you that you like to pray in public to show everybody how spiritual you are. Christ said to fix the problem by praying alone more than you pray in public, knowing that the private prayer is what you will be rewarded for in this life and the life to come [Matt 6:5,6]. And by the way, he encourages you to do it in order to get a reward. Oh my!!! Christ does however, put his finger on the problem. The motive thats driving this sin is the desire to be rewarded by men rather than God. More could be said about that but I digress.
James seems to be developing his instruction in a progression of cause and effect. At it’s most basic, individuals are trying to obtain their desires by their own means and God is not cooperating. They are totally dependent on self and not mindful of God. In other words, good old fashioned pride. They want to obtain their desires by their own strength so they can keep all the credit and glory for themselves as a self-esteem booster. They will fight others to get their way and the prize they seek, the supposed right to boast and feel superior to others.
Remember, James is dealing with religious people. So when all of the fighting and frustration leads to a total dead end, then they pray. We have all partaken in this kind of dead, drab, lifeless prayer time. It is this way because our life is marked by “you do not ask” [usually, you do not pray], then when you do pray, it is not a bold partaking at the throne, crying “abba, Father!”,it is a “double minded” faithless prayer driven by selfish “desire.” Along with this prayer comes the feeling we get when we only call our earthly parents when we want something.“Ya, I’m at a real dead end. All that’s left now is prayer, who knows, maybe God will give me what I want.” 3 words: ain’t gunna happen.
Where does this selfish desire come from that is “warring” within you, and causing all of this mess? That’s verse 4, friendship with the world. Friendship with the world trashes our communion [prayer]
with God in three way’s according to James in verse 4. First, friendship with the world feeds and gives provision to the fleshly desires James speaks of in verse 1 [Rom 13:14]. Sinful desires reside in the flesh and will be there till the Lord comes for us. Friendship with the world inflames this lust and empowers it to wage war within us [Gal 5:17]. As Christians, we keep the sinful desires dummed down and weak for lack of provision.
Secondly, friendship with the world makes us an enemy of God and then we expect to be able to go to God in prayer and get something while feeling the love. Again, 3 words: ain’t, gunna, and happen.
Thirdly, friendship with the world saps our desire to pray. This brings us full circle back to “you do not ask.” In turn, not praying according to the will of God feeds our propensity to fellowship with the world and fulfill the lust of the flesh. We are only then driven to cry out to God in the desperate result from a barren land, and without understanding of how we got there in the first place. If all of that is not enough, this whole nasty downward spiral gives Satan a foothold in our life [verse 7].
Friendship with the world is a subtle affair that creeps in unaware through attitude, beliefs, and influence. It also rushes in quickly to fill every void in our lack of spiritual duty and discipline, and the forces of darkness stand by to help with eagerness.
How friendly are you with the world? The answer can be found in another question: How often do you pray, and what kind of prayer is it?
Let it not be so with us. Let us instead rush the throne of God boldly with every want for ourselves and others, with every concern and deep desire according to the Spirit. We do not have because we do not ask. Christ came that we could have life and have it more abundantly, let us pray accordingly.
paul
Biblical Thinking Leads to Joy in the Midst of Trials: James 1:2-4,13,14
“But we must remember, the God who bestows the same blessings on the just and the unjust, may also shower us with the same trials as well.”
I don’t know about you, but I like it both ways. I want life to go my way down here and then retire to Heaven. Hey, I’m not asking for much, cat’s have 9 lives, I only want 2. Trials are annoying, disruptive, inconvenient, and downright painful. Wouldn’t you agree with that? I hope not. If you agree with that, you are well on your way to adding more misery to your life.
James begins with the word “consider” (Ecc. 7:14), or as some commentators note: “evaluate.” The first thing you must employ in a trial is biblical reason. Emotion will be there, but it must take a back seat to reason. Specifically, biblical reason. Verses 13 and 14 (of chapter 1) used to perplex me in James’ line of thinking here and I confess that I do not entirely understand all of the implications in regard to trials, but I’m on safe ground in regard to the following: (“Let no one say when he is tempted, ‘I am being tempted by God,’ for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire”) In the beginning and midst of a trial, we will be tempted. This is clearly the context of verses 13 and 14. How will we be tempted? By desire. Whatever meaning you want to attach to desire here, the following cannot be refuted; our desires produce thoughts, and it’s not our “desire” to be in a trial. Let the warfare commence, the mind of Christ verses desire. Desire and emotions produce thoughts that “lure” us away from right thinking that leads to stability and right doing. This can clearly be seen when Satan approached Eve to do warfare with her. His goal was to change her thinking and appeal to desire. Obviously. Be sure of this, when you are in a trial, philosophies contrary to God’s word will come knocking and desire will be there waiting to help. The source of the desires James is speaking of is the “flesh” (Eph 2:3, Ro 13:14, Ga 5:16 Ga 5:17 Ga 5:24).
If you are looking to James for some deep and philosophical knowledge in regard to why bad things happen to good people, you have come to the wrong place. I can’t wait to meet James because he is a nuts and bolts guy. The last thing we need when we are in a trial is a long in-depth course in philosophy. The trials of life are no time to be figuring things out, James shows the way in no uncertain terms. Please hear me, when a friend is in a trail, do not take him, or her, a stinking book written by some big name theologian. Do your job, go to them with the mind of Christ and his compassion.
Our first thought when we find ourselves in a trial needs to be the following: “this is a good thing” (consider it ALL joy). James cushions his direct style with, “my brothers.” Before we get into the specific reason for joy stated by James, let me interject some other scripture that speaks to the why we should be thankful and joyful for trials: It is proof positive that God is working in our lives.
“If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons” (Heb 12:8).
Though this verse speaks of reproof, a reading of this verse in context reveals the very close relationship between discipline and trials (Heb 12:3-17). God is completely sovereign and always has a specific purpose in bringing events into the lives of believers and even unbelievers (Matt 5:45 1Thess 5:18 Pro 16:9). Trials exhibit God’s care for us and indicate that we belong to him. It also indicates the very working hands of God in our life. That is why 1Thess 5:18 tells us that we can be thankful in “every circumstance.” Furthermore, trials lead to comfort that equips us to help others have comfort (2Cor 1:3-7). Therefore, trials have yet another purpose of training us in order to help others.
James also cites the specific benefit of developed perseverance or steadfastness. Apparently, growing in perseverance facilitates growth in all area’s of life (“perfect and complete, lacking nothing”). There are many other elements of trials that could be gleaned but the point is this: pondering the various truths concerning what God is up to in trials should give us hope, joy, peace and assurance.
However, don’t miss what James says about being caught off guard. He says trials are of “various kinds.” Often, trials are not what we expect. Trials often come in a form or type that we would never dream could happen to us. Peter put it this way: “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you” (1 Peter 4;12). What kind of trial could happen to me? Anything. Usually, Christians can be caught off guard by the severity of the trial (“fiery”). But we must remember, the God who bestows the same blessings on the just and the unjust, may also shower us with the same trials as well (Matt. 5:4,5 Ecc. 7:14). Being dazed and confused is not helpful in regard to sound, Christlike thinking. Sometimes, clarifying this reality is where you might have to begin.
paul
Divorce: The Ultimate “I won’t Forgive You”
It’s hard to deny and difficult to understand, but God binds relationships through agreements. This was true at the very beginning. The following is an excerpt from another post:
“God created man for the purpose of being blessed by God and bearing his image. He was to have dominion over God’s creation. He was also created for the purpose of being fruitful and multiplying. But God also put something between himself and man, a standard:
‘Then the LORD God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it. The LORD God commanded the man, saying, ‘From any tree of the garden you may eat freely; but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die'” (Genesis 2:15-17).
From the very beginning, the foundation of relationship between God and man was God setting the standard or structure and man following in obedience, or being faithful to God’s structure. When man did not hold to his part of the relationship, no words could adequately describe the disaster that followed. God is truly one who utilizes covenants in his relationships, and places a very high premium on them. When man failed, the foundation of the relationship was destroyed, and God chose to take action to restore the relationship. As one theologian said: “He bankrupted Heaven to do it.”
Very early and often in Scripture, God established the institution of Marriage to represent the covenant between him and his people. God chose Abraham to found a great nation of people to execute his restoration to the world. This nation, called Israel, would oversee the preservation of God’s word and his message to the world. From this nation would come the Messiah and Savior of the world. Unfortunately, Israel would fail as Adam did. Here is what God says concerning the above reality:
‘Thus says the Lord GOD to Jerusalem, ‘Your origin and your birth are from the land of the Canaanite, your father was an Amorite and your mother a Hittite. As for your birth, on the day you were born your navel cord was not cut, nor were you washed with water for cleansing; you were not rubbed with salt or even wrapped in cloths. No eye looked with pity on you to do any of these things for you, to have compassion on you. Rather you were thrown out into the open field, for you were abhorred on the day you were born. When I passed by you and saw you squirming in your blood, I said to you {while you were} in your blood, ‘Live!’ Yes, I said to you {while you were} in your blood, ‘Live!’ I made you numerous like plants of the field. Then you grew up, became tall and reached the age for fine ornaments; {your} breasts were formed and your hair had grown. Yet you were naked and bare. Then I passed by you and saw you, and behold, you were at the time for love; so I spread My skirt over you and covered your nakedness. I also swore to you and entered into a covenant with you so that you became Mine, declares the Lord GOD. Then I bathed you with water, washed off your blood from you and anointed you with oil. I also clothed you with embroidered cloth and put sandals of porpoise skin on your feet; and I wrapped you with fine linen and covered you with silk. I adorned you with ornaments, put bracelets on your hands and a necklace around your neck. I also put a ring in your nostril, earrings in your ears and a beautiful crown on your head. Thus you were adorned with gold and silver, and your dress was of fine linen, silk and embroidered cloth. You ate fine flour, honey and oil; so you were exceedingly beautiful and advanced to royalty'” (Ezekiel 16:3-13).
The following verses in chapter 16 describe Israel’s horrific betrayal of God’s trust. Said another way by God, he instructs the prophet Hosea to literally take a prostitute for a wife as an in your face living illustration:
When the LORD first spoke through Hosea, the LORD said to Hosea, “Go, take to yourself a wife of harlotry and {have} children of harlotry; for the land commits flagrant harlotry, forsaking the LORD” (Hosea 1:2,3).
However, here is where we begin to see that the culmination of the covenant did not, does not, and will not, depend on the performance of Israel. Hosea is instructed to go to the local auction and buy his wife back who had left him to resume her harlotry:
Then the LORD said to me, “Go again, love a woman {who} is loved by {her} husband, yet an adulteress, even as the LORD loves the son of Israel, though they turn to other gods and love raisin cakes.” So I bought her for myself for fifteen {shekels} of silver and a homer and a half of barley. Then I said to her, “You shall stay with me for many days. You shall not play the harlot, nor shall you have a man; so I will also be toward you” (Hosea 3:1-3).
It’s pretty obvious isn’t it? Hosea’s love for Gomer and God’s love for Israel didn’t depend on their performance. In the Abrahamic Covenant, God put Abraham in a deep sleep and consummated the covenant himself because it did not, could not, and would not depend on anybody but God [Genesis 15].
The concept of a marriage relationship between God and his people is replete throughout the Old Testament and int0 the New. Marriage then, at least in part, symbolizes God’s forgiveness, mercy and dedication to his covenant elect.
I have often wondered why God said he hated divorce (Malachi 16:2). I wonder, because he never specifically states why he hates divorce. However, I think we have a hint in Ephesians 5:25 where Paul instructs husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. How did Christ love the Church? The same way he loved Israel. God’s devotion to Israel has never depended on their performance and the church is no different. Why would it be? God only brought in the Gentiles to make Israel jealous anyway (Romans 10:19, Romans 11:11). Marriage then, is symbolic of God’s forgiveness, his mercy, his covenants, and especially the gospel. God’s covenants exemplify his mercy and forgiveness.
If you know what the Scriptures teach about forgiveness, it’s not hard to understand why God hates divorce. Those who will not forgive, do not understand how much they have been forgiven. Those who will not forgive, do not see themselves in Gomer. Those who will not forgive, do not see themselves in Ezekiel 16:15-63. Christ made it clear, “For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little” (Luke 7:47). Mark 6:14 speaks of our responsibility to forgive “men” (mankind in general) in order to be forgiven by God ourselves. Luke 6:35 speaks of being kind to the wicked in order to be “sons of the Most High.” How much more towards the one whom which you share an intimate relationship ordained by God and symbolic of his gospel covenant? In the sermon on the mount, the subject of divorce among other subjects, is nestled squarely between anger and retaliation, and Christ makes it clear that just cause for divorce is very narrow indeed.
I am amazed at the flippant attitude in our culture concerning marriage, even among Christians. It’s not a party, it’s an emblem of God’s covenant faithfulness. The execution of the marriage covenant will either reject God or uphold his Glory. Divorce not only proclaims a refusal to forgive the covenant partner, it proclaims that fact publicly, and even sues for the spoils and restitution. A single divorce can produce an impressive list of things contrary to the sermon on the mount which primarily addresses relationships at many levels.
My uneducated grandmother understood all of this. She was married to my lost grandfather for 35 years. Suffice to say, she had the liberty to divorce him by biblical standards several fold. But he never wanted to loose her, that’s for sure. Well, finally, shortly before his death, he was saved. My grandmother never remarried, but God blessed her abundantly in the several years she lived afterword. By most standards in Christianity today, she would be labeled a fool, but it was never about her. Enter Brad Pitt, he is getting divorced again. Apparently, from what I am reading, another wife did not live up to his standards. Remember the woman at the well? Five husbands did not meet her standards and she gave up on marriage all together. Statistics indicate that first time marriages only have a 50/50 chance of survival whether Christian or secular. An astounding 80% of second marriages end in divorce, and the beat goes on.
At the core is an unwillingness to forgive. We understand why unbelievers can’t forgive, they have never been forgiven. What is perplexing is the wide spread acceptance among Christians of the ultimate and public statement of unforgiveness: Divorce.
paul
How To Poke God In The Eye
So whats up with “Supercessionism?” That’s the belief that God has no future for Israel, that Israel has been replaced by the Church and all the promises made to Israel transferred to the Church accordingly. The promises made to Israel for the future are massive in the Bible. The only possible way to make “Israel” the “Church” in all the hundreds of Old Testament promises to Israel is to approach the Scriptures with a particular method of interpretation that yields the result you prefer. Obviously, not a literal interpretation. The following is only one example:
“In the latter days you will understand this. At that time,” declares the LORD, “I will be the God of all the families of Israel, and they shall be My people” (Jere 30:24-31:1).
Or how about this:
“Thus says the LORD, Who gives the sun for light by day And the fixed order of the moon and the stars for light by night, Who stirs up the sea so that its waves roar; The LORD of hosts is His name: If this fixed order departs From before Me,” declares the LORD, “Then the offspring of Israel also will cease From being a nation before Me forever.”Thus says the LORD, “If the heavens above can be measured And the foundations of the earth searched out below, Then I will also cast off all the offspring of Israel For all that they have done,” declares the LORD” (Jere 31:35-37).
Bottom line, if we can’t take that at face value, how do we even know that John 3:16 means what it says?
Furthermore, Supercessionism for the most part, comes out of Reformed Theology and to a large degree, New Covenant Theology. Both have a strong element of “election.” In the Bible, Isreal is called God’s “elect” ( Dt 7:6, Isa 45:4). They agree with everyone else being called elect in the Bible and use a literal interpretation accordingly, but when it comes to Israel, they implement the Redemptive Historical hermeneutic. This is plainly unacceptable. Also, a “new covenant” is only mentioned once in the Bible and is even set against the older covenant in the same context, but the “new covenant” is specifically promised to Israel!! GOOD GRIEF. By the way, God’s chosen people have always been Israel and will always be Israel. God told the woman at the well, “salvation is of the Jew’s.” The Church was initially a Jewish church and God had to do dramatic things to convince the Jews that he wanted the Gentiles in there (Acts Chapters 10 and 11). As a matter of fact, the baptism of the Spirit at Pentecost was a set-up to convince the Jews when the time was right (Acts 11:15-18). God only saved the Gentiles to make Israel jealous (Rom 11:13). The Gentiles are the ugly step children of salvation and it is high time reformed theologians get over it. For sobering warnings from God concerning wrong attitudes toward Israel, read Romans 11 for yourself.
I don’t know much about John Hagee, but I know he said this: “I believe all true Christians have a soft place in their hearts for Israel.” Why not? If we have God’s heart, certainly this should be true, especially if slighting the Jews is poking God in the eye. He (Hagee) also said this: “God told Abraham that he would bless those who blessed him and curse those who cursed him. If you go to a church where the leaders believe in Supercessionism, you do not go to a church that God is going to bless.” Yep, I agree. Denying what God has promised to the Jews is taking away from the word of God. In the book of Revelation, God says all of the curses in that book await those who do so. Would Supercessionism be in this category? I don’t know, but it’s kinda like what Ronald Reagan said about work: ” hard work never killed anybody, but why take the chance?”
paul
Case # 2008DR00927
“Truly, divorce must be the delight of hell and its many hordes.”
I didn’t want to just post another cliched article on Malachi 2:16 where God says “I hate divorce.” Have you ever thought of that?, God never says specifically why he hates divorce in any passage. There are no “I hate divorce because” verses. It therefore must be surmised from other related biblical topics. I was originally going to title this, “Why Does God Hate Divorce?” There is much biblical information regarding the answer, but my post is from a practical perspective. That’s where I am going to start. How practical is divorce where the rubber meets the road? And why would I start there?
Here is the reason: because I went to a class called, “Helping Children Succeed After Divorce.” It is a class that concerns “Post Parenting.” That is, effective parenting after divorce. Hmmm. Let me phrase it another way: “How to be a parent when you no longer live in the same house with the other parent.” It was required by the courts, case # 2008DR00927. The class was taught by an expert with plenty of experience in this kind of counseling. She does mediation for the courts when the attorneys have trouble working out all of the visitation details and so forth. According to the class, the relationship between the parents now needs to be strictly business and focus on what is best for the children. The class addresses the many difficulties in accomplishing this. Throughout the class, the instructor spoke of the “misery index,” or level in the midst of the process.
Things started to become apparent. First, the misery level of the initial affairs is almost unspeakable. The separation of property down to the keepsakes and that wedding ring that had been passed down from generation to generation. That house you built together, the vacation pictures. The preschool projects your proud children came running home with, revealing talents you never knew they had with the inscription, “mumy and dadi.” No wonder these are ugly affairs, you would almost have to make the other person your enemy to even be able to bear it. Then the children, deciding visitation rights and all of the agreed upon rules accordingly.
Then there is this: Divorces are almost always protracted affairs. The initial shock and awe is over with, but every month, when one spouse sits down to write the alimony check, the wounds are reopened. When job situations change for better or worse, both spouses are right back in the legal wrangling to determine new support amounts. If you are remarried and get a promotion at work, you and your spouse don’t discuss where to celebrate, you discuss how long it is going to take the X to file for increased support and how much you will be able to keep. Why celebrate at all? Furthermore, In the best of financial agreements, items fall through the cracks and the children are left to find out which parent is going to pay for the item. Then there is the whole remarriage thing and how the children handle that. This kind of stuff and a long, long list of more, goes on for years after the initial divorce. Truly, divorce must be the delight of hell and it’s many hordes.
Those who know me also know how much I enjoy asking questions. After listening to all of this damage control counseling, I asked this question: “In your experience as a post parenting counselor, have you ever seen one case where the misery index was less than the level of misery while the marriage was still intact?” Although her long pause and “deer in the headlights” look answered the question, Listen carefully to her actual answer: ” I often tell couples that divorce will not necessarily end the misery or even lesson it. Chances are, it will actually increase the misery level.” That is a profound admission. I then asked another question: “As you have said, being successful in post parenting is very difficult and requires trust, but how can there be trust when one spouse stood before witnesses and vowed to stay with that other person for ‘better or for worse’, and then didn’t do it? Secondly, if marriage counseling is easier and has fewer elements, and they were not successful there, how will they be successful in post parenting?” “For the children,” she said. Do it for the children. So then my final question: “So then, if we are really good at post parenting, we can send a message to our children that there can be a positive outcome to divorce, even though you said prior that the misery level is rarely less and usually more. If the misery level is lower in the marriage, why not rather be successful at marriage and send that message to the children instead?” She didn’t answer the question but her verbal discourse that followed was well spoken. In our society today, staying in a marriage and making it work for the sake of the children is unrealistic and archaic, but the call now by the professionals is to be successful post parents for the sake of the children. Ya, be good at that, 80% of all criminals in this country come from single parent homes.
What would the Bible say about all of the above pragmatism? well, in Psalm 15, the Holy Spirit names some attributes of the righteous. One of them is the following in verse 4: “….who keeps his oath even when it hurts”. Marriage is an oath for better or worse and sometimes it hurts to keep that oath. This is the mark of a righteous person. The Bible gives two reasons and two reasons only for divorce, fornication and abandonment by another spouse via physical departure: “But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace (ICorinthians 7:15).” One reason biblical permission is so narrow is clear, even from a practical perspective, divorce doesn’t solve anything and rarely gives God glory in any respect.
But today’s Church is pregnant with leaders who walk by sight and not by faith. I mean, look at all the “real life” cases. “Look at what a jerk that guy is, and she is such a sweet person.” Surely Paul the apostle did not mean to limit divorce to a literal physical departure! “I know, Paul was talking about a ‘departure in the persons heart’, ya, ya that’s it, it all makes sense now!” Besides, this approach often covers for the inability of leaders to take the word of God and resolve life issues. It also cuts down on all of those pesky phone calls in the middle of the night. The divorce rate in the Church is now the same as the world, and there is a reason for that. With a new wave of mysticism comes a disdain for a literal interpretation of the Bible and it’s call to duty and obedience, robbing Christians of the joy that follows.
My situation is merely case # 2008DR00927 to the county of Montgomery, it might as well be the same in the Church. No big deal. Sure, we know divorce is a public proclamation that states: “I don’t forgive you”, but Paul also said “we are called to peace,” many argue, as if peace is defined by the following issues generated by divorce and well stated by a divorce information website (see following my conclusion). Let me suggest that Paul was saying God has called us to peace as a general principle, so we shouldn’t make decisions that create turmoil when the outcome is uncertain, like say, trying to force an unbelieving spouse to stay in the marriage when they have clearly set their mind on leaving. And by the way, though the following list claims to be comprehensive, it is not even close. It does not address the broken family relationships on both sides including in-laws and all the other relatives, and many other issues.
Let me repeat this from one of my above paragraphs in closing : ” One reason biblical permission is so narrow is clear; even from a practical perspective, divorce doesn’t solve anything and rarely gives God glory in any respect.”
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COMPREHENSIVE MARITAL SETTLEMENT ISSUES
I. PREAMBLE
A. Identification of Parties to AgreementB. Date and Place of Marriage
C. Separation Date
D. Status of Court Filings
E. Identification of Children
F. Intentions in Coming to Agreement
G. Acknowledgment of Current Employment/Income Status II. PARENTING A. Decision Making (Legal Custody) and Primary Residence B. Weekly Residential Schedule C. Holiday and Vacation Periods (overall intention)
D. Substitute Child Care Providers E. Transportation F. Prompt Exercise of Time with Child G. Right to Communicate with Child H. Fostering Affection and Respect I. Access to Information from Schools, etc. J. Parental Cooperation K. Parental Communication L. Safety and Security M. Future Conflict Resolution Process N. Future Review of Parenting Arrangements
P. Responsibility for Extracurricular Activities, Sports Equipment, Lessons, Clothes Q. Education and Other Major Expenses for Children R. Medical/Dental Insurance S. Uninsured Medical Expenses T. Life Insurance (to protect support responsibility)
U. Dependent Deduction V. Gifts to Children W. Agreement to Make a Will
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