Paul's Passing Thoughts

Desiring to Have Authority Over Your Wife is the Essence of Sin

Posted in Uncategorized by Paul M. Dohse Sr. on November 14, 2019

ppt-jpeg4No surprise that the submission of women issue is trending in the under-law evangelical church. The under-law gospel of justification by faith (which is supposedly not under law because Jesus keeps the law for us) is not only a false gospel, but a mindset. Personally; been there, done that. I was once enslaved to a desire for my wife’s submission to what I was submitting to: additional mediators other than Christ.

Thanks to the true gospel of justification by new birth, I want my wife to be my companion in life’s journey, not my servant. As I have emphasized prior, one of the primary characteristics of sin is its desire to control others. That’s how the Bible describes sin: it is driven by a desire to enslave and uses condemnation to do so. This desire displays itself from the playground of an elementary school to the highest echelons of statecraft. Why do people want to control others? Sin.

In case you missed it; Christ used persuasion and not authority. Now, He will bring His authority to the world scene in the future, and if you read how that happens, it’s rather obvious that He hasn’t implemented His authority yet, and He certainly hasn’t given it to men to compel faith or any kind of behavior indicative of faith. Um, that would include marriage.

And by the way, you can’t make your wife do anything. If you are in a Muslim country you can beat her or even kill her, but if she would rather die than obey you, guess what? Yes, you can kill her, but you can’t make her do anything. To begin with, freewill is a major pillar of reality, so you better get a learning on how to be a good leader and persuader. This also applies to childrearing. In case you haven’t noticed, teenagers have this reality well figured out.

Of course, in church where words don’t necessarily mean anything, “head” in Ephesians chapter 5 is translated as “boss” or having authority. Clearly, if you read the chapter, Paul is using the analogy of a human body. This is the analogy that the Bible uses to explain how the “body of Christ” is to function; like a body, because you know, it’s a body.

Here, I will rip off what I have written about this previously:

Now listen. Here is my thumb. Last week, I drilled a hole in it. As a member of my body, I have NO authority over my thumb. I cannot command my thumb to heal. As with most all bodily functions, they are what we call, “involuntary.” Different cells that make up different body members and organs are a body within a body and literally have a complex mind of their own. My head, viz, my mind, has NO authority over my body.

HOWEVER, I can edify my body and submit to its needs in order for all the cells to better perform their function. Get it? That’s the illustration here. It’s body, not authority. You can’t tell your body to do squat. You can desire your body to do something, but if that particular member is unhealthy, no amount of bossing is going to make it do what it doesn’t want to do or can’t do.

You must submit to the needs of your body in order to have a healthy overall function. That’s knowledge of your body, and edification of your body members. That’s good choices and knowledge that edifies. This is what the Bible is talking about when men are instructed to live with their wives according to knowledge. Here, in Ephesians, we find that ill behavior towards our body is ill behavior towards yourself. Your wife should annoy you by not properly edifying herself, not a lack of edifying you. Your body health is directly related to your wife’s wellbeing as you are one body. It cannot be denied that the husband is to take leadership in this endeavor and the wife needs to respect his efforts in doing so.

Elders do not live with your wife; they don’t know squat about you wife. In every case where marriage counseling is needed, the husband has been asleep at the switch. Premarital counseling and all other marriage counseling should be limited to an understanding of Ephesians 5, then the husband needs to get off his sorry lazy rump and edify his wife in the same way he edifies his own body. This, as opposed to letting spiritual morons with 4 or 5 useless titles after name do the thinking for them. Together, the husband and wife are the walk of the new man that does the kingdom’s bidding.

As Christ is the lead edifier of the man, the man is the lead edifier of his wife; the role is not one of authority. Eldership is a gift for edification in general. It is interesting how the church looks at this. Most evangelical parishioners don’t realize it, but official church orthodoxy sees church membership as the first step of church discipline. So, by virtue of being a church member, you are under elder church discipline because elder teaching “disciplines” the believer. Therefore, if the teaching is not followed, “corrective” church discipline is needed.

Where there is authority leadership and edification are completely unnecessary; accomplishments are achieved because one party commands it. Authority is not the function of a cooperative body operating by mutual submission of needs.




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  1. lydia00 said, on November 18, 2019 at 8:57 PM

    Head/body metaphor must be understood from a historical perspective, too. It was about 100 years after Paul, the physician, Galen, discovered that the “head” controlled limbs of animals. Before thinking changed, people believed the head was a source for the rest of the body because that is where eating, seeing and hearing took place. They believed decisions or thinking originated from the heart (chest). One can see this when reading passages that suggest actions come from the heart. It’s kind of fun to do a search on the NT passages using heart and substitute thinking. It all starts to make sense from that historical perspective. We still use the heart for feelings and emotions but we know intellectually they originate from thoughts.

    So, the head/body metaphor markers sense from the perspective of that era as in who would be in a position to care for the body and its needs.


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