Paul's Passing Thoughts

Thinking highly of yourself, when it is earned, can be a lonely place in the world. Earning self-love, which humans are wired to do in order to achieve wellbeing, comes part and parcel with wanting a long list of other things and people to think highly of. Negative people who find something wrong with everything and everybody, contrary to common logic, don’t think too highly of themselves; the opposite is true. Faultfinders want to drag everyone down to a lower place than the faultfinder. When you listen to a faultfinder, what you hear is a reflection of their own soul. The failure they are projecting on you is really what they think of themselves.

For this Ohio State Buckeye football fan, that is, Ohio State University football for those of you who may not know, I have always loved everything OSU football; the school tradition, the folklore, everything. It was a respectable institution. But with all institutions, they must be fed with money and that money comes from the culture.

However, in capitulating to the culture’s penchant for political correctness, there should be some level of loyalty. There should be balance. Unfortunately, OSU has gone full-blown politically correct as illustrated by throwing Urban Meyer under the bus. Wait a minute, that’s not as accurate as it could be; actually, they threw him under the bus and then backed it up and ran him over several more times.

Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. That was my feelings when OSU hired Meyer after his Florida Gators trounced OSU in a national championship game. The fact that he outcoached Jim Tressel was egregiously and painfully obvious as OSU was a much better team on every level.

Meyer brought his skills to OSU and accomplished an insane result of a 82-9 record and 7-0 against rival Michigan. Then Zack Smith happened. Smith was on the coaching staff and had a troubled marriage. Though Smith was under no indictment by law enforcement for domestic abuse, nor was he ever arrested in regard to criminal complaints filed by his wife (which hardly ever need much of a preponderance of evidence), apparently, as a football coach, Meyer should have…what?…fired him? Meyer alluded to the thought that the last thing a bad marriage needs is loss of income. Aside from that, Smith’s wife was hardly the choir girl in the situation. Furthermore, much of what was reported about Smith in the media was outright fabrication.

At any rate, we now have the big picture. While Meyer was coaching with a brain cyst and struggling physically, they suspended him, and while he was suspended for three games, announced the “coach in waiting.” So, I now see OSU this way: despicable. If justice is served, the program will blow up. What they did to Meyer, regardless of what you think of him, is completely unacceptable. I can no longer respect OSU. I might even become a Michigan fan (actually, for reasons I will not state here, Nebraska). And a recent comment by Meyer is correct: the suspension is what will define the way his career will be remembered. Maybe Paterno deserved that, but not Meyer. By the way, in light of Meyer resigning, two top recruits have already backed out of their verbal commitment to OSU. Good.

Meyer also disappointed me, initially. Here is something you can know about all successful people like Meyer: their self-dignity is not for sale. Personally, I was surprised Meyer accepted the suspension without resigning, and even more surprised that he didn’t resign when they announced the “coach in waiting.” The whole thing was simply a low-blow x 4. But I now understand why he didn’t resign right away. One thing you will hear Meyer say often is, “I Love OSU.” There it is, right there. He loves the students and many of the people attached to the institution. In my opinion, that’s why he finished out the year. And also my opinion, he isn’t too sick to continue as a coach. More opinion: he will be back, and I am not alone in thinking so if you listen to respected sports experts.

Admittedly, this didn’t play out like I thought it would, but I did predict several weeks ago, specifically to my dentist, that he would resign as a result of the suspension. The dentist then asked, “Where do you think he will go?” to which I answered, “Anywhere he wants to.” I believe Meyer will return and be an OSU spoiler. Why do I thing this?

There is only one thing that concerns those who respect themselves about those who don’t respect them: they are a hindrance to self-respect which is the epicenter of wellbeing. That is, they hinder your building process. OSU invited Meyer in, and then took an axe to the sum and substance of his career. Not the sum total of his life, but career is a big enough part of the pie that I doubt Meyer will ultimately stand for it. It’s not about revenge, it’s about getting back what OSU took from him. OSU obviously thinks that no one person is bigger than the institution; they are wrong, every person is more important than every institution—institutions are for the express purpose of serving the individual, it’s not the other way around.

So, what’s the first lesson learned from Urban Meyer? Never sell your soul to an institution. In every case, the institution thinks the value of the individual is determined by the individual’s ability to contribute to the institution—institutions are inherently collectivist. Institutions don’t love anybody, and they are not “family.” Institutions and family are mutually exclusive.

I have matured as a nurse aide. When I used to see a DON coming down the hall smiling at me asking, “How are you?” I actually used to think, “Wow, look how much she likes me.” Frankly, I am embarrassed to admit that. I now, rightfully think, “Ok, what does she want? Obviously, someone has called off.” Institutions are family as long as you are there being a good slave to their politics and morass of agendas. If you falter, you would be better off as a child of Israel when Moses returned from the mountain. Institutions should be seen as useful for building one’s own personal life and loving the individuals who are attached to the institution. When you are attached to an institution that no longer serves that purpose, toss it aside and move on.

Sometime after I began to learn these things, and in a career not what I am presently doing, I was called into an office by a business owner and terminated. Let me add that the unjust termination ended up putting 30,000 dollars in my pocket. The owner informed me that I was terminated, and I replied, “Ok, is that all?” He replied, “Don’t you want to know why?” My answer: “No, I don’t. I am well aware of who I am and what I have done for this company, and knowing your reasons, whatever they are, serves no purpose for me.” Aside from the payout I eventually received, the look on his face was more than worth it. And the party continued. He escorted me out to the company van so I could collect items and tools belonging to me. When we arrived, I picked up one duffle bag off the front seat and said, “Well, this is it, would you like to look through the bag to check the items?” He was surprised, and stated, “You like to keep things in one place.” I replied, “Right, in case you would stab me in the back after everything I have done for your company, and you did.” I am still debating which look on his face was the most priceless, the one in the office or the one at the van.

Never put yourself in a position where you can be thrown under the bus by an institution. Post notice early and often that your self-dignity is not for sale. Of course, I am speaking of a self-dignity that is rightfully earned. That’s what people who have earned self-respect do. This is also why I believe we haven’t heard the last from Urban Meyer.

paul