Paul's Passing Thoughts

Choosing Respect Over Desire

Posted in Uncategorized by Paul M. Dohse Sr. on June 8, 2018

ppt-jpeg4On the way to writing another post today I stumbled onto this article about the Hollywood actor Debra Messing. The article is a revelation concerning the abuse actors are willing to endure to “realize their dreams.” Read…”desire” and whatever drives that desire or desires.

Most of the abuse in that venue comes from movie directors and producers that decide who makes it or doesn’t make it in that industry. It’s fairly evident that Hollywood is a brutal hierarchal food chain. In reality, it is a cesspool totally controlled by errant desires to succeed at all cost and desires to dominate others for the self-fulfillment of other errant desires.

This is why I find the arrogance of movie stars so stunning; in most cases, they sold their self dignity to get where they are, and looked the other way in regard to criminal debauchery in order to prevent being blacklisted.

I wonder aloud: when we hear about famous personalities who have it all, yet commit suicide, what did they barter away that robbed them of happiness? I suspect the answer is self dignity.

If everything in the Messing article is true, she allowed a director to totally disrespect her like a piece of trash laying on the sidewalk. Furthermore, she gave license for this director to do the same to others. This is a matter of self respect and respect for others. Self respect is earned, this is true, but accomplishments that build self respect do not allow for selling yourself out to a tyrant and contributing to the success of despotism.

Not long ago, I was sitting atop a major career opportunity at a facility. For whatever political reasons that I am unaware of, I was made 100% guilty in a situation where I was 100% innocent, and spoken to very disrespectfully. The following was obvious: the administration assumed I would look the other way because I was one day short of qualifying to sit for a state test for my career advancement. That was also brought up in the meeting, and I was reminded of the favor at hand accordingly. With one day of clinicals left for the company sponsored program, the thought that I would take a stand was the farthest thing from their minds.

Would passing the state test and becoming a medication aide been a deposit into my self respect account under those circumstances? No, because the legitimacy of the process was compromised; allowing others to disrespect you unjustly is not a valid payment for success. Furthermore, playing the game in this way contributes to the success of tyranny and informs the tyrant that this form of coercion will work.

The priceless look on the administrator’s face when I turned in my 2-week notice after the meeting was hardly enough to temper the pain of that decision. I loved that facility and thought I had a home there. It’s still painful to think about. But I believe the following: God will, in time, bring about a better opportunity.

I believe ultimate success comes by pushing the envelope of uncompromise for ourselves and others. Yes, it will appear that we are shooting ourselves in the foot and will therefore never realize our dreams, but a dream purchased with compromise is not worth having and will not contribute one mite to your own self respect and respect for others.


One Response

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. Lydia said, on June 13, 2018 at 7:00 PM

    I can relate. Sell my soul or loose a lot. I am no hero or angel and paid a huge price for a simple refusal to be a “corrupt team player”. And no one respects me for it but myself. And that’s enough. It has to be. The amount of insight I gained from the experience has served me well in other ways.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s