Paul's Passing Thoughts

Traumaunction: Definition

Posted in Uncategorized by Paul M. Dohse Sr. on April 13, 2018

PIPERThe etymology of “traumaunction” begins on 4/12/2018; uh, in fact, yesterday. A word is necessary to describe the over-dramatized sermons of Protestants designed to inflict mental trauma on the listeners. The purpose is to inflict fear of condemnation in order to drive one back to the cross daily for more Jesus.

So, in true Protestant tradition, all sermons, if you are preaching correctly, seek two objectives; to aide one in “preaching the gospel to ourselves every day,” and maintaining control of people through condemnation. People who are under condemnation are “humbled” and are passive putty in the hands of Protestant despots.

Though a contemporary word, its consummate example is “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God” by Jonathan Edwards. Many assume that Edwards used the traumaunction to wake up a Laodicea-like church, but such is not the case; the sermon and its results are the stated goals of every Protestant sermon according to orthodoxy. In our day, many seek to mimic Edwards’ iconic folklore, particularly, John Piper.PIPER 2

Hence, church is a place where you go to be traumatized in order to keep yourself close to Jesus. Pastors go to seminary for as long as eight years to learn traumaunction. Rather than being encouraged unto good works, the goal is to be brought low so the “saving works (note the plural form) of Jesus” are made manifest. This is the Protestant doctrine of Mortification and Vivification as well as the Vital Union doctrine. Praise bands are for the purpose of facilitating M and V leading to the Vital Union.

I will give every Protestant on the face of the earth a nickel if they know what these Protestant doctrines are. I have a coin jar behind my desk, that will cover it. But at any rate, it’s kinda cool knowing why I did what I did as a pastor for 20-plus years though after the fact.

So then, let’s nail down an official definition:

Traumaunction, (trauma/and an over-dramatized expression of speech, “unction”), is a Protestant sermon designed to inflict mental trauma for purposes of ongoing repentance leading to Mortification and Vivification resulting in the Vital Union…until the next time you preach the gospel to yourself.

paul

7 Responses

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  1. Andy Young, PPT contributing editor said, on April 13, 2018 at 8:34 AM

    We have a meme for this now. Feel free to share with friends and family!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Andy Young, PPT contributing editor said, on April 13, 2018 at 8:48 AM

    As John Piper likes to sing his favorite verse from that old New Evangelical folk song:

    “Give me gumption in my unction,
    Help me function, function, function.
    Give me gumption in my unction I pray;
    Hallelujah!
    Give me gumption in my unction,
    Help me function, function, function.
    Help me function ’till the break of day!”

    Like

  3. Andy Young, PPT contributing editor said, on April 13, 2018 at 9:00 AM

    Like

  4. Republican mother said, on April 13, 2018 at 9:01 AM

    I might suggest adding this word to the urban dictionary. On that wise, we could have fun redefining their terms on that site, since redefining words is how the Enemy rolls.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Andy Young, PPT contributing editor said, on April 13, 2018 at 9:24 AM

      I submitted it. Just waiting for approval. I’ll post the link here if it gets approved.

      Like

  5. johnimmel said, on April 13, 2018 at 10:20 AM

    PERFECT!

    Like

  6. John said, on April 13, 2018 at 12:39 PM

    Absolutely fantrabolistic! All of it.

    Like


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