Paul's Passing Thoughts

A Tale of Two Cows

Posted in Uncategorized by Andy Young, PPT contributing editor on December 6, 2017

Something a little on the lighter side.  You may have seen something like this circulating the internet in the past, but this is the new and improved expanded edition.  Enjoy!

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. The government takes both cows, loses one while giving the cow to people who don’t know anything about cows because that’s what the regulations told them to do.

CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

COMMUNISM (1): You have two cows. The government takes both of them and gives you some of the milk.

COMMUNISM (2): You have two cows. The government takes both cows. The government sells the milk in government stores. You can’t afford the milk. You starve to death.

COMMUNISM (3): You have two cows. The State takes both, and gives you a little milk . . . once.

COMMUNISM (4): You have two cows. The government takes both and gives you spoiled milk.

CUBAN COMMUNISM: You no longer have any cows. You risk your life by escaping from Cuba so you can buy some cows and a bull in Miami.

DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both cows and drafts you to make sure he stays in power.

FASCISM: You have two cows. You give the milk to the government and the government sells it.

FREE ENTERPRISE: You have two cows. They get jobs working for Chick-fil-A for the company’s “Eat Mor Chikin” campaign. The chickens get upset and call for a boycott.

LIBERALISM: You have two cows. You sell both of them to the rich. The government then taxes the rich the price of one cow and gives it to the poor who slaughter it. When they finish eating it, they demand the other cow.

NEW DEAL LIBERALISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and pours the milk down the drain insisting there is a giant storage tank where all the milk goes. (Think Social Security)

POLITICAL CORRECTISM: The idea of “ownership’ is a holdover from the Enlightenment era. Humans and cows are equal. The use of the word “cow” is demeaning. Cows should be allowed to vote.

AGENDA 21-ISM: You have two cows. The UN takes both cows since cows belong to the earth and possession of animals is illegal. For that matter so is possession of property, so they take that away, too, and force you to live in assigned communities where you eat Soylent Green.

INSTITUTIONAL RELIGION-ISM: By God’s sovereignty it was pre-determined that you have two cows. You tithe 10% of the milk every week to your local church. One day one of the church elders steals one of your cows and slaughters it. You are then expected to forgive the elder because, after all, we are all just totally depraved schlubs who deserve hell.

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3 Responses

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  1. John said, on December 6, 2017 at 1:11 PM

    My favorite? The last one, of course. Time for a milkshake.

    Like

  2. Ken B said, on December 8, 2017 at 4:15 AM

    John – had the last one not been there, I would have been tempted to add it!

    But what about the Arminian: you have two cows. You wish to take one to the slaughterhouse, but it decides in its free will that it will not go.

    Like

    • John said, on December 8, 2017 at 6:04 PM

      Excellent! And then the one that has decided he ain’t going, reasons with the other one (from the New International Cows’ Version). Then, sadly. we’ll have dry corn flakes until they return home where they know their viewpoints will be respected.

      Like


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