Tips for Struggling Missionaries on How to Get Money from the Church
Are you a church missionary struggling financially? Is financial support waning? In order to get funded, it is important to understand changing trends within the institutional church. However, you have come to the right place for cash because regardless of any geo-economic situation anywhere in the world or during any time in history institutions that sell salvation will always be well funded. Regardless of income, people will invest time and money to escape eternal damnation. The question for missionaries is how to get the church to invest in your ministry.
First, the church is returning to its historical roots and therefore the rules are all but totally changed. Let’s observe the raw basics.
Churches want to see a validation of credentials. They want to see a seminary degree, usually a Master’s degree at the very least (expertism), and they want to see a submission to, and validation of church authority. The authority issue has become absolutely HUGE of late. You must project the idea that you are “under authority.” In some capacity as much as possible, project these two fundamentals.
Project success. If you cannot project success, gee whiz, “God must not be working in your midst.” At this point, you are dead in the water. However, this can be substituted with a ministry vision or goal; churchians will invest in a vision.
Project success via infrastructure. In other words, building projects. Why? Infrastructure speaks to authority. Though splendid church buildings project the intimidation of God’s authority, buildings in general will do. If you have been involved in successful church building projects that lack grandeur, merely verbalize the success and leave out the pictures and thereby leaving the splendidness of the structure to the imaginations of the congregants. Again, a church building project goal will do, especially with the use of architectural drawings.
Project ministry proxy. What is this? Most parishioners are spiritually lazy and want to buy God’s good pleasure with money. Hence, they want to see a ministry they know they should be doing that they can buy into with money. In essence, it’s like investing in the heavenly stock market; therefore, show an impressive portfolio.
Target emotions. Churchians will pay big money to be entertained. The most popular movies make people laugh and cry both. A good movie tugs the emotions in both directions. Do the same. If you are not gifted with this talent to do so, use multimedia excerpts from people who can.
Exchange specific doctrinal statements with the ambiguous use of “the gospel.” Be sure to pronounce it like this: “gaaawssssfffuuuul. It is also helpful to pronounce “God” this way: “GaaawwwD.” At any rate, when you use the word, “gospel,” the parishioners will project their own understanding of the gospel onto whatever you are saying. Specific doctrinal statements bring up unnecessary issues because most parishioners lack critical thinking to begin with. Speak to them according to the pithy truisms and spiritual bumper stickers they are accustomed to.
Project the furthering of church dominion. Remember, Protestantism was a church-state until the American Revolution. Remember, ALL Protestant doctrine was established and written during the time that Protestantism was a church-state, and for the express purposes of church-state. And remember, the church is returning to its original roots. Be sure to project your contribution to the furthering of church dominion.
These are BASIC fundamentals that should form your overall presentation which will vary from missionary to missionary. Again, you can improvise with goal/vision wherever necessary. For example, if you only have a Bachelor’s degree, leave that out while merely mentioning the seminary you graduated from and let the parishioners do what they are very good at; assuming things. Past that, partake in a cheesy online Master’s diploma program and tell them that you are in the process of obtaining your Master’s degree.