My Testimony of Freedom
In 1983, I became saved and attended seminary not long after. Until 2010, I was a crippled Christian in the agony of doubt. Why? Because I knew justification was by faith alone. But, in everything I did for God, how could I be sure that my motives were to please my Father only? How could I possibly know for certain that I wasn’t really trying to justify myself? Hence, all of my works for God were tainted with fear and doubt.
In 2010, I got rid of my vast library of Protestant books and prayerfully embarked on a word by word study of the book of Romans. I prayed, “Father, I am done, I only want to hear you now. You are not a God of confusion, please help me to let these words simply say what they say. Your Son promised that we will find you if we seek you, and I believe that promise with all of my heart. Our wonderful brother John said that we can KNOW that we are saved, and his testimony is true and I stake my life on it. Please help me.”
And here is what I found: we are born again by faith alone, and the old us that was under the condemnation of the law died with Christ. He died to end that law, and where there is no law, there is NO sin. I am not under law, and there is NO condemnation. Instead, as one who has passed from death to life, I am under grace, and the Spirit’s law of liberty. Why is it called that? Because it sets us free to aggressively love without fear of condemnation. The law (Bible) is our manual for loving God and others without fear. I have no need to question my motives because all that is left is love. There is no other incentive. Perfect law-keeping is not what makes us righteous; the new birth makes us righteous and our new heart that loves truth. Though our mortality makes us weak our motives are truth and love.
Is my love perfect? No, but so what? What law will condemn me? Nay, Christ died a horrible death to end it.
This is what I have found and want others to have. I want them to pin their ears back and aggressively love without fear because, “there is no fear in love, but fear has to do with condemnation.” You can think of me what you want, and so can everyone else, but let me tell you something about me and my spirit bears witness with the Holy Spirit: I am free. I am free. I am free. At last I am free.