Paul's Passing Thoughts

Pastor,

I am not on a journey to recover from spiritual abuse. The spiritual abuse was a symptom of a much bigger problem—I am on a journey to learn more and more about the cause of the symptoms. That is my journey. I have been on the journey long enough to know that Protestantism itself is the problem, and I am rethinking the Western traditions of men.

Furthermore, you have requested this of me before based on my disdain for the psycho-babble clichés being offered wholesale to the spiritually abused. Specifically, that forgiveness is critical to the “healing process.” First, victims do not effectively forgive where there is no repentance. This ministry has dealt with those who have been doing that gig for 20 years and now realize that it is a lie. I don’t forgive my abusers—they have not repented. I love them as my enemies, but I don’t forgive them. If they needed my help, I would help them in a heartbeat.

Why? As long as there is opportunity to love them as my enemies, the hope of RECONCILIATION looms in the future. Carte blanche forgiveness circumvents true reconciliation, and repentance that will assure as much as possible that others will not be victimized. Only then can true forgiveness from the heart take place—after true reconciliation and our properly vacated duty to protect others.

You should know all of this, but you still don’t get it. You first attempted to “move on with your life” in the beginning and it didn’t work. In fact, your silence was indirectly responsible for your best friend’s broken marriage. You see connections with my blog as a hindrance to once again “moving on” to the future.  You now want me to participate in your continued ignorance, and I will not.

The answer to your request is, “no.” Resubmit your request when the lightbulb turns on.

Paul Dohse.