Paul's Passing Thoughts

Recently, I had reason to be concerned with the whole issue of divorce and remarriage. I’m just one of those strange guys that thinks God’s opinion matters in how we conduct our lives; in fact, I believe the Bible calls it “walking in the Spirit.” That is, I believe walking in the Spirit is the same as walking according to the will of God as revealed in the Scriptures. Also, I’m old enough to conclude, as I have observed the landscape of life over the past 53 years, that confusion and indecision is bad, and wisdom that leads to doubtless direction is good; you are usually at peace with yourself and the results are mostly favorable. And if the results are not favorable from a pragmatic perspective, our primary goal of pleasing God is still intact anyway; it is always a win / win  proposition.

So why would I go out and buy a book (“Marriage, Divorce, And Remarriage In The Bible” by Jay Adams) instead of just looking in the Bible myself? Well, because God’s will in every situation is not always easy to ascertain in the Scriptures. Some life issues are complicated, and God has this really neat system where he pays certain men to study the Scriptures full-time and document what they find, so that layman like myself can get this all-important information in a timely fashion  while confirming the conclusions with our own Bibles. Granted, in our day, most of the men that God has blessed with this privilege have squandered the call and continue to come up with better techniques in doing so, but Jay E. Adams is not among them. In fact, though my own situation is extremely unique, somehow, I assumed I would find his (Adams) book a useful tool in finding God’s will  and I was right. Confusion bad. Clarity good. Me happy.

But this is really a post about simplicity that liberates. Over the years  I have had the privilege of counseling people and watching their response as I unapologetically give them God’s solution from the Scriptures. I never get weary of seeing their response when they find out their dilemma is not nearly as complicated as the world and lame theologians made it out to be. They get this wide-eyed look, then they look down at what you showed them in the Bible on their lap, then they look up at you again,  repeating this process several times in some cases. It’s called hope. It’s the halo data you see when a captive to confusion has been set free. It’s the look you get when a person realizes that God’s wisdom supplies a way out according to the Lord’s purposes.

I was reminded of all of this as I approached chapter two of Dr. J’s book. The very title of the chapter stopped me dead in my tracks: “What Marriage Is All About.” Oh my, If only I had a dime for every theory that attempts to answer that question! (why did a picture of Oprah appear in my mind? Weird). But what stopped me in my tracks even more was Dr. J’s biblical answer to the question: marriage is to solve the problem of loneliness. That’s it? Now I was the one with the before mentioned deer-in-the headlight look. Yes, in fact, Adams refers to it as a formal biblical covenant: “The Covenant of Companionship.” He cites Genesis 2:18 to make the point that man is not wired to be alone. By the way, as I was confirming this information I discovered that the English spelling for the Hebrew word “alone” in Gen. 2:18 is B-A-D (according to “E-sword”). That doesn’t mean anything, I just thought it was interesting. Furthermore, I found his assertion that this simple purpose for marriage was an actual covenant in the Bible to be rather bold as well, but in his typical mode of operation, he backed-up this assertion well with Proverbs 2:17 and Malachi 2:14; both of these references specifically link the idea of companionship with the marriage covenant.

So, on one page only, I was taken aback thrice. But now I confess, my surprise came from a bad memory. You see, though much truth in the Bible is simple, the ramifications are profound. The problem of loneliness is profound. Let me explain. I recently experienced the great joy and privilege of accompanying my son-in-law (David) and my daughter on a road trip in which he had several speaking engagements. One night,  we stayed at a bed and breakfast owned by friends of David, and that night, several people were invited over for fellowship. As we sat around a large table after dinner, David suggested that every one present share their testimonies. One lady was single for reasons unknown to me, but after sharing how she came to know Christ  she began to tell the strangers sitting there about a nemesis in her life: loneliness. As she began to share in regard to this  her countenance quickly morphed into an expression of utter despair and she began to openly weep. When this event was brought back to mind as I pondered the Adams thesis  I remember her face like I saw it yesterday and a portion of her pain is still with me.

But let’s talk about my failure that night as well. The healing, hope, and encouragement I could have given her that night from the simple truth of God’s word is an unfortunate omission that goes on way too much in Christianity. I could have told her why she felt the way she did, and what God wanted her to do about it. I could have also shared yet another simple, but profound truth that Adams shared on the very next page of that book: singleness and marriage are both gifts (1Cor. 7:6,7), and as Christians, we are commanded to practice our gifts. If one is called to be single, they need to practice that gift, if one is called to companionship, they are called to practice that gift as well. Yes, I could have explained her pain, and tempered her self-pity with God’s loving direction, but I sat in ignorance. Two simple pages – so much pain.

But more can be said of this in something I did right on another occasion. A single man approached me who was being counseled by a pastor in regard to his struggle with being single. Here is where I must practice restraint  because I will inform you that I have been known to vent my frustration a time or two on this blog. The young man was being counseled by his pastor that his struggle was due to evil desires from an idol in his heart that was causing him to desire companionship with a woman more than Christ, and if he used Scripture to see more of Christ, his desires would be reoriented, or realigned with a proper desire for Christ, and thus eliminating the struggle at hand. Sigh. Do I really have to expound on the problem here? And how it effects the lives of Christians in profound ways? The desire didn’t come from an idol, the desire came from a void that the Bible fully explains in very simple terms. My counsel to him was to worship Christ by getting married immediately. He looked at me like I was crazy! It was just really all kinds of fun, especially when I told him it might be necessary to change churches because the church where he was attending lacked sufficient candidates, and his pastor was a bozo.

But I did fail on one wise. The young man honestly related his fear that he would fail at marriage. I could have told him that we are gifted at marriage / companionship; it’s a spiritual gift, and God has given us all the spiritual resources we need to be successful at it  if we will only obey. Yet another simple, profound,  biblical truth that is not always easy to accomplish – it takes effort on our part that goes way beyond the mystic management of heart idols.

By the way, he got married a short time later, and I wasn’t invited to the wedding! Oh well, such is ministry.

paul