“Gospel Driven Divorce”: Is Your Marriage in Imminent Danger?
Rush Limbaugh often says he knows liberals like every inch of his glorious naked body. I must confess, even with all of the study I have done on the *gospel driven life*, or *gospel driven sanctification*, I think I still know my body much better. New revelations concerning GDS are often so bizarre that it takes time to finally come to grips with the fact that its proponents actually advocate various elements. First, for those who are not familiar with GDS, here is a thumbnail of what it teaches:
The same gospel that saved us must be meditated upon every day in order to grow spiritually. The whole Bible is about the gospel and nothing else. According to John Piper: “That’s why the Bible is so big; there’s a gospel application to every event in life” (slight paraphrase-see video entitled “The Gospel in 6 Minutes” Sept. 12, 2007- Desiring God Ministries). Therefore, we meditate on the gospel through looking for it in the Scriptures, and as we meditate on the gospel as seen in the Scriptures, “we are changed from glory to glory,” or in other words: “Beholding as a way of becoming” (John Piper, “The Pleasures of God” pg 15 ). Also, according to John Piper, we should “never, never, never, never, never, never, never, think that the gospel saves us and then we move on to something else”(“The Gospel in 6 Minutes”). In fact, most proponents of GDS think that any “moving on to something else,” even if it falls under the category of discipleship, is a false gospel and you therefore forfeit both justification and sanctification. In other words, if you believe in synergistic sanctification- your lost.
So then, everything in the Bible must be seen in light of the gospel, and interpreted accordingly; marriage and divorce would not be an exception to this rule in any regard. In short, if you are a believing spouse, and your marriage doesn’t “look like the gospel” ( the relationship between Christ and his bride, the church) you are free to divorce your spouse. Buckle-up, here is an article that advocates this GDS view:
Gospel Love, Marriage & Divorce
“Recently, I have been studying the Scriptures and paying closer attention to how it is most of us as Christians have understood love, marriage and divorce. Surprisingly, although we say we believe that the most intimate of marriage relationships is to be modeled by Christ and his relationship to the Church, we do not, in our theology, really seem to believe or practice that.
We seem to have allowed our understanding and definition of marriage be something that is not a reflection of Christ and the Church. Marriage, we are told, is between a man and a woman. Agreed. That is a principle definition of marriage that definitely stems from God’s design of marriage back in the garden of Eden. However, that is only part of the formula for what constitutes a marriage. The most important ingredient that we as the Church have allowed our secular influences to omit is none other than God himself. Biblically, God is necessarily 1/3 of the relational equation in order for a marriage (or a church!) to be “joined together by God.” Likewise, apostate churches that do not properly include God, are not recognized by God. By definition, a true marriage or Church must include the one true God as a common denominator.
As the Church, we have then failed to see the legacies of Divine love, marriage and divorce throughout the Scriptures. And because we have embraced a marital world-view that can be devoid of God, we have found ourselves struggling with the whole subsequent understanding of how to understand divorce.
In Scripture, where divorce is sanctioned by God, the aim is always redemptive in some sense. It is always gospel driven.
Abraham divorced his 2nd wife, Hagar, because of gospel unbelief (Genesis 21:10-12; Galatians 4:29, 30).
Ezra, the prophet, counseled the entire nation of Israel to divorce their foreign/unbelieving wives…”according to the Law” (Ezra 9, 10).
God gave Israel a certificate of divorce for her antinomian apostasy: gospel rejection (Jeremiah 3; John 15; Romans 11).
The men who divorced their wives in Malachi were rebuked for doing so due to the fact that their wives remained faithful to God. These men divorced their “believing” wives only to marry non-believers. This, God hated.
Paul exhorts the believers in Corinth who are still in a mixed marriage to “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers…come out from among them and be separate” (2 Corinthians 6:14-18).
Again, Christ divorced the church of Laodicea for its gospel rejection, for embracing an antinomian apostasy as well (Revelation 3).
The common denominator that is found amongst every single divorce that was sanctioned by God was a HEART denominator, a GOD denominator that was identified as not being existent in the marriage.
So when we read the words of Jesus, “Except for fornication, a man must not divorce his wife,” we do not take his meaning of fornication (GK: pornea) as being literal. From the consistent revelation given elsewhere in Scripture, he was understandably speaking of a spiritual fornication: love for the world.
Once this God centered understanding of marriage and divorce is understood, we no longer have to struggle with the idea of “what kind of sins can qualify as “pornea”? We no longer have to tell married wives, “I know your husband beats you, occasionally, and perhaps he only beats your children. However, God never said it would be easy to be a follower of Jesus, so you need to understand that it is His will for you to remain married to your miserable and unbelieving husband (or apostate spouse).”
“I tell you the truth,” Jesus said to them, “no one who has left home or wife or brothers or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times as much in this age and, in the age to come, eternal life.” Luke 18:29, 30.”
Get the picture? The crux of the article is this excerpt: “In Scripture, where divorce is sanctioned by God, the aim is always redemptive in some sense. It is always gospel driven.” Basically, what it boils down to is this: in reformed circles where GDS is propagated, all bets are off; any marriage that doesn’t “look like the gospel” is possible fodder for divorce court. But who in the world would be the judge of that? No marriage is perfect; at what point would one decide that it is or isn‘t? Well, welcome to the nebulous world that is GDS.
However, in this environment, any mixed marriage (believer and unbeliever) would certainly be doomed to failure, for no unbelieving spouse could live up to a picture of God’s marriage with the church. The believing spouse, once in such a church, will have a green light to divorce the second the ink is dry on the membership application. But here is a problem as well: now you have a situation where the marriage is only valid if a certain standard is met. Isn’t that the antithesis of the gospel? Well, welcome to the contradictory world that is also GDS. But you say, “hey Paul, at least the other spouse has to be an unbeliever. If your both saved; and in such a church, your safe, right?” Yes you are, if you both are proponents of GDS. Remember, more traditional views of the relationship between justification and sanctification are deemed to be a false gospel in GDS circles.
The proof is in the pudding. I predict that divorce will soon become rampant in reformed churches, if it isn’t already. I know of a few that actually pride themselves in “building marriages that look like the gospel.” Unfortunately, this is often done through divorce and remarriage, with God’s supposed stamp of approval. Some of these churches, even small ones of 200 or 300 members, average a divorce and remarriage to the tune of one per year. I also predict that as the word gets out, spouses will begin to go to these churches with the ill intent of getting a church-sanctioned divorce. Stay tuned.
paul
Paul's Passing Thoughts 
As the author of this article that was reviewed, I give you total license to contact me, if you wish, to inquire directly as to the greater rationale of GLM&D.
I did not catch your reply to all of the biblical examples that were documented in Scripture as “valid” divorces. Did I miss something as the common denominator? Did Abram err in “judging” Hagar as an imperfect unbeliever? Did the nation of Israel err by following the Prophetic wisdom of Ezra and divorcing their unbelieving spouses? Did Paul stutter when he exhorted the church in Corinth to “come out from them and be separate”?
If God need not be the central motif for marriage, then it makes sense he is no less the motif for divorce. The subtitle of the book that was written was “Legacies of the Divine Romance.” Once we wrap our heads around God being the center of His very own Love, Marriage and Divorce, the biblical teaching and practice will readily follow.
You have to admit, given the examples as found in Scripture, there doesn’t seem to be any emphasis placed upon “divorce statistics.”
Please feel free to contact me directly.
Randi Lamb
Riverside, CA
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I think Lamb is making several exegetical errors. Abraham makes no judgement about Hagar. God tells Abraham to obey his wife Sarah, and the issue has to do with inheritance of the sons, not Hagar’s faith. Hagar is actually quite a model of faith, encountering and naming God as a well in a manner similar to Abe’s sacrifice of Isaac. Maybe she was unfaithful prior to that, but then shouldn’t Abe take her back when she becomes a believer?
Hagar’s situation is complicated by the fact that she is a SECOND wife. I’m in favor of people divorcing one of their bigamous wives
For Paul, you’re pitting what he says there in conflict with what he says in 1 cor 7:13. You should try to harmonize them, not drive a wedge. Better to understand the “be separate” as a rhetorical hyperbole, (its a quote from the OT) not an imperative to the married. Or would you cite Jesus reminding the pharisees that the Law mandated death for dishonorable children as an imperative for us today? Is he not rather showing how much the OT law disapproves of children who dishonor parents. Likewise, Paul can use a OT text that talks about leaving and separation to warn many not to get married to professed unbelievers in the first place.
God is also presented as having multiple wives (Ezekiel 23:1) and says he gave David his wives. Does that mean bigamy is the bible’s ideal? of course not.
In the case of Ezra, the situation is made complex by the fact that that Jews were forbidden from intermarrying with Canaanites (and them only: Moses having an Ethiopian wife was fine) because Canaanites were under the death sentence. That does not obtain the the new testament, where the jew/gentile distinction is gone. If you need an OT example, perhaps that of the Gibeonites, who present themselves falsely as lawful covenant participants, but are in fact not. God in NO WAY allows Israel to break covenant with the Gibeonites. Thus, if a man seems Christian when married, but apostasizes, the marriage covenant remains sacred, barring capital crimes or abandonment, or other extreme situations.
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PDuggie,
Thank you for your comment and observations. I agree. paul
> —–Original Message—– >
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PDuggie,
Thank you for taking the time to aritculate that…
Randi, I’m sorry but you are totally missing the meaning of GDS! Especially pertaining to marriage. The gospel is antithetical to what you are saying, the gospel challenges us to forgive those who do wrong against us. The gospel teaches us to lay down our lives even for our enemies as Jesus did. The gospel teaches us that we are desperate rechted sinners, in need of as much forgiveness as our spouses that do wrong. When we marry, we have entered a convenant, you could say, the very first covenant that God ordained. Marriage is not a contract, it is a convenant. What you are suggesting is contractual…
We would find our selves in the most desperate of situations if God was to model to us what you are suggesting. Breaking His covenant with us!? I shudder to imagine if we were to apply your logic to the new covenant…
1Peter 3:1-2 is in opposition to what you are proporting here! Please be more careful with your hurmentic, there are way too many people today looking for an easy way out!
I found myself on this site, trying to find some help for friends who are pursuing divorce, and just not getting the gospel! Heaven forbid they found your article. You don’t want to stand before Jesus having to answer for contributing to the break up of what He has joined together. You are teaching here, and teachers will receive a stricter judgement…
I’m praying that that gospel will drop further into you heart and that the Lord would help you to see it transforming power. That people affected by the gospel see what Jesus has done for them and they perservere thru hardship, because He did. That we stay in covenant, because He does…
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Cyndi, Don’t be so hard on Randi, at least he’s honest about what he believes and you don’t have to die the death of a thousand cuts before you figure it out. His article is very indicative of what is coming out of New Covenant Theology,Gospel Sanctification, Christian Hedonism, Heart Theology, and especially Redemptive Historical Hermeneutics.
For instance,regarding Heart Theology, Jesus said If you look at a women lustfully you have committed adultery in your heart, right? Well then, since Jesus said we can’t divorce except for fornication, porn would be grounds for divorce, right? (Hint: I think Jesus used the word “fornication” to speak of an actual act and not just thoughts).
Cindi, NANC use to have some really solid stuff on divorce, and back in the day they saved a ton of marriages, but they are now being infected with CCEF antinomian doctrines and I really don’t know anybody with that organization that I would recommend. BUT, I would recommend “Marriage Divorce, and Remarriage in the Bible” by Dr. Jay Adams. He also has a book called “The Case of the ‘Hopeless’ Marriage.” I was greatly helped by these two books and Adams seems to be a dieing breed of biblical counselors who still have their right minds. From a personal and pragmatic viewpoint, you might read this:
http://wp.me/pmd7S-3w
I will pray for your caring endeavor and may God bless you always Cindi.
paul
> —–Original Message—– >
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PDuggle – Thank you for your comments. However, you have not interjected exegetical corrections, rather your own opinions in response. Paul speaks of the gospel as being central to how/why Abraham was instructed to divorce Hagar. At the end of the day, the primary reason had to do with Hagar not being a true believer in YHWH.
As for Paul’s comments in 1 Corinthinas 7, I totally acknowledge the distinction that exists within the chapter, differentiating between commands and concessions. However, in 2 Corinthians, Paul simply reminds God’s people of how important it is for equally yoked marriages. God himself will not remain married to an “unbelieving/apostate” bride.
But again, the reason for divorce in this context? Lack of faith.
Every day, when any person “professes faith in Christ,” such a person enters into a marriage covenant with Christ. However, if there has been no true change in their heart, if their disposition towards Christ is disingenuous, the “marriage” will not last and, in one way or another, Christ will divorce them. It may manifest itself in willful defiance to the marriage covenant, thereby subjecting the individual to ultimately apostasy (Jeremiah 6; Matthew 18; 1 Cor. 5; Revelation 3). Or in other words, to refuse to persevere in Christ is to reject the marriage covenant and experience divorce as Israel did in Jer. 6).
Marriage is, undoubtedly, a covenant, a relationship that is contingent upon faithfulness of both parties. Same reality exists with Ezra’s account. Simple common denominator? Spiritual infidelity.
God’s own divorce account in Jeremiah? Spiritual infidelity of Israel.
Because of the fall, there is no heaven without the antithesis of hell. Likewise, there is no marriage without the antithesis of divorce.
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Cindy/All,
Below is an excerpt from my book, Chapter 5. I deal with Cindy’s common misconception of how Peter is teaching on marriage, but is speaking to a married audience of husbands and wives who are, both, believers.
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Randi Lamb is a stalker and is basically a non-christian. i would know since I have known him for years.
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