Paul's Passing Thoughts

I am having great difficulty with answering some of the questions in my First Place 4 Health Bible Study.  The questions have to do with extending grace to others in order to influence their belief in God, and offering grace to others because grace in an undeserved gift from God.  I went to my favorite online dictionary to broaden my perspective on the word grace. There were definitions from Christian theology to Greek goddesses, luck to a blessing said at a meal- 21 different definitions for the word grace when used as a noun.

I went to the concordance of my trusty New Scofield Reference Bible and looked up the many verses from both Old and New Testaments that contained the word grace and gained more insight about the word.

How to answer the two questions from my Bible Study requires me to answer two other questions first:

1) Whose grace am I extending, God’s or my own in order to influence others in their belief in God? (The study question was: How might your extending grace to others influence their belief in God/)

2)  Whose grace do I offer to others, God’s or my own? (The study question was: If grace is an undeserved gift from God (not a reward that is earned), then how should that affect our attitude about offering grace to others?)

Grace is an undeserved gift from God. My salvation is because of His grace. For by grace are you saved through faith, and that not of yourselves it is the gift of God.  Eph. 2:8,9   I cannot offer salvation to others, only God through His grace can save; therefore,  I must conclude that I extend a human act of grace to others in hope to influence their belief in God. ( Right?) Which definition of grace do I extend? Kindness and compassion, love, mercy, favor, disposition to serve another, a privilege conferred? It certainly must depend upon the situation and person. (Right?)  I can only offer human expressions of grace to those around me and I must offer those expressions with humility and as acts of service.

There are numerous times we offer too much grace to our believing friends and that in turn creates an unhealthy spiritual environment for all parties.  We can keep extending grace to sinning friends so that it becomes a shield or an excuse for their continuing in wrong behavior or sin. There is a place for biblical confrontation and great care and discernment must be used to determine when to extend grace or when to apply consequences.

Let me cite this recent example:

I returned to the First Place 4 Health Bible Study and Support Group after having been absent for over a year.( Paul and I were ministering on Wednesday evenings at another church.)  The core group of women was still present, as well as several new enrollees.  While listening to several of the core members I realized one was still discussing the same issue: how to keep from going to Tim Horton’s for mocha lattes. For the three years she had been with us in the group, she was still struggling with mocha lattes.  (She had not lost any weight over the course of the three years.) To my horror, the ladies laughed it off and then began talking about deep fried Snickers, and other unhealthy snacks they preferred.  The answer from the leader,” Well Dee, we’ll just have to pray for you this week.”

Where is grace in that?  Dee should have been confronted about how she was taking the First Place Commitments and making them a mockery.  She should have been given a plan for having success in making better choices that involved her husband and children to help hold her accountable.  How was extending more grace to Dee influencing the new members to put off the unhealthy habits that created the fat rolls and put on healthy habits instead?  It created instead a loophole for those new members.  “When I consistently make wrong choices, there will be more grace extended to me”, is what they will begin to believe.  In AA circles this is called “enabling the addict.”

Our First Place group should attend some AA meetings.  If an alcoholic were to confess that they struggled with going through the drive through to purchase wine coolers, the AA leader and the other members would spend a large amount of time confronting that member and coming up with a plan for more accountability.  How do I know that?  I used to attend 2-3 AA meetings a week with Wayne ( my first husband, now deceased), and witnessed several times how weak members were confronted about their choices. No grace. They were rebuked, instructed in the rules of AA, and offered help to be victorious one day at a time.  Why should we women who make First Place Commitments to eat healthy and follow the “live-it plan” be treated any differently?  Come on, First Place Friends—stop using grace as an excuse for bad behavior!

susan