Guest Writer, Susan Dohse: Provoked by Her Husband
This cannot be accomplished if I stay at the foot of the cross contemplating my precious Savior’s death, burial, and resurrection. Jesus said to take up the cross and follow Him.
I asked my husband if I could write an article for his blog. With some reservation he agreed. Why do I want to write an article? Because my husband provokes me. To be truthful, he has provoked me from the very beginning of our relationship, and he continues to provoke me.
With purse in one hand and my trusty Scofield Reference Bible in the other I met Paul for the first time over coffee at Perkins. Not to be outdone, he pulled his Bible out of his briefcase and placed it on the table next to his laptop. Thus began the first of many provocations.
I teach school and am entering my 38th year of teaching. As a lover of words I chose to use the word provoke for a reason. According to the dictionary, provoke means to move a person to action, to goad or stimulate one into a renewed vigor or action. Therefore, the reason for the use of the word. Let me repeat: My husband provokes me.
Anyone who has known me for a while is aware of how much I cherish my personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. He is first my Redeemer, the author and finisher of my faith. He is my sustainer, my refuge in time of trouble. Without Him, I would be nothing. My husband knows my life’s story and in spite of that knowledge, wraps me daily in the healing arms of his love. But, dear friends, Paul continues to provoke me.
He provokes me to move deeper into the study of God’s Word, to listen with discernment to what is being said about the Word of God, to read with discernment what other “godly” authors write, and to speak with discernment.
Recently, Paul has provoked me to move from the foot of the cross to a greater joy and reveling; that being, doing the work that God calls me to do each day. Jesus taught his disciples how to have a servant’s heart by taking up the basin and towel. He warned his followers that there would be a yoke to carry, a harvest to glean, a going, a teaching, a discipling that must be continued until He comes again. This cannot be accomplished if I stay at the foot of the cross contemplating my precious Savior’s death, burial, and resurrection. Jesus said to take up the cross and follow Him.
When I became a believer at the age of 8, I experienced joy, peace, contentment, and a myriad of other emotions. When I close my eyes and remember the day I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior I can experience those emotions again. But, the joy, peace, and contentment I experience daily as I go forth to serve the Lord, applying His words to my life, go far deeper than when I first believed. I attribute this to being provoked by my dear husband.
I hope you have someone in your life that provokes you in the same way.
susan
Why “Lawless” Equals “Heartless”
Foul doctrine always has consequences. One of the many unfortunate consequences seen in the “Gospel-Driven Life” movement is the merciless, cold-blooded behavior of its leaders and followers. I have counseled spouses who have begged their partners not to divorce them because the marriage “doesn’t look like the gospel.” I have looked into begging eyes pleading for me to explain how “elders” could counsel people to do things that plainly contradict the literal, plain sense of Scripture. Apparently, their broken hearts just didn’t understand that all Scripture must be seen in its “gospel context.”
I have seen the hostile takeover of churches and listened to the many testimonies; for example, Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church where those who took over mercilessly trampled underfoot the memory and work of James D. Kennedy. Whether he was your cup of tea or not is beside the point. I used to attend an early morning Bible study with a group of men in which an “elder” of the Sonship variety attended. He had a reputation for being a very tender, loving, soft-spoken person. On more than one occasion, he shared his exasperation in regard to his terminally ill mother-in-law mourning the fact that she would not be around to see her grandchildren grow up. Stern-faced, he shared his disappointment that she was not rather rejoicing that she would soon be with the Lord. Apparently, she had a Grandchildren Idol.
I can’t help but to wonder if this is the result of GS’s devaluing of God’s law. Why do I say that? Well, observe what Christ said in Matthew, chapter four:
“At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.”
Recently, John MacArthur wrote a book entitled, “Slave” in which he presented the idea that a translation fraud has been perpetrated in the English Bible regarding the word slave. Even though his approach was passive (the book lacked the usual Mac life application), and more or less presented the picture minus detailed life application, he hasn’t been invited to a GS function since the book’s publication. Apparently, even the suggestion that we are in any way, shape, or form, slaves to Christ is more than the GS brain-trust can handle. Well, Mac needs to write another book about the same fraud being perpetrated in regard to the word translated “wickedness” (most translations, “iniquity”) in this passage. He might as well—he’s in the doghouse anyway.
The word is “anomia.” It’s “nomia” (law) with the particle “a” prefixed to it, or “anti-law.” It is were we get the English word, “antinomian.” Some translations have “lawlessness” or better yet, “without the law.” The idea is being a rejecter of God’s law, and has very little to do with governmental laws, if anything. Take note: in the latter days, love will “grow” cold BECAUSE of antinomianism. A cold heart doesn’t cause lawlessness—lawlessness CAUSES the heart to become cold. So much for, “ALL change is from the inside out” (of course, ANY real change is impossible without the indwelling Holy Spirit).
Will my theory hold water? “Because” is a conjunction showing cause—let’s look at a verse with a conjunction that shows contrast: “Their hearts are callous and unfeeling,
but I delight in your law” (Psalms 119:70). Hence, those who delight in God’s law are contrasted with those who don’t; the lawless have callous, unfeeling hearts. Also, the Psalmist didn’t just ask God for compassion, curiously, he asked God’s compassion as found in His law: “Your compassion is great, O LORD; preserve my life according to your laws” (Psalms 119:156).
A movement that devalues God’s law—what’s that look like? It looks like Sonship and Gospel Sanctification: merciless, cold, and uncompassionate.
paul
Vows, Car Doors, Coats and Chairs
You see it every now and then; a husband opening the car door for his wife, or the event at Perkins that prompted this post: an elderly man stood up first to hold up his wife’s open coat for her to fill. After all those years? Then I had a light bulb moment: “Why not? Isn’t one of the ’till death does us part’—also to—’cherish’?” It would seem that us men take the faithfulness and love part of the wedding vow much more serious than we take the “cherish” part.
What does “cherish” mean? Well, it’s actually a little more focused than love. You can love anybody, especially if your a Christian. We are commanded to love our enemies, right? Cherish means: ”To cling fondly or inveterately to: to cherish a memory” (Dictionary.com). Cherishing necessarily requires display; that’s why I like the cited definition. When we cherish a memory, we do what? Usually, we have taken pictures, framed them, and displayed them at home and work. We are never commanded in the Bible to cherish our enemies. To cherish is to set love on fire. Guess what the antonym for cherish is? Answer: “neglect.” That’s key.
As Christians, I believe we have been given all we need for life and godliness. In fact, Ephesians 4:24 indicates that we have been given the full righteousness and holiness of Christ. Therefore, the apostle Paul commands us to “put on the new.” Pity: so much of today’s discussion concerning the law of God is framed around “obligation.” Obligation?—biblical commands are an invitation to appropriate and put on the righteousness given to us by Christ. Biblical commands are an invitation to set love on fire! Pity: many are taught today that Christ not only bankrupted heaven to give us His righteousness, but he also puts on that righteousness for us, and while we wait for Christ to do our part, the love of God is hidden under a bushel basket. To cherish is to display the love already given, IF we believe Ephesians 4:24.
Besides men, we promise, we vow, and before witnesses. I guess the guy that was at Perkins gets that part. God is very serious about vows. He says it’s better not to make any than to make one and not keep it. In fact, Psalms 15:1,4 says that vow-keeping is the mark of a righteous person:
“LORD, who may dwell in your sacred tent? Who may live on your holy mountain?…. who despises a vile person but honors those who fear the LORD; who keeps an oath even when it hurts, and does not change their mind;” (NIV@2011).
Want another version?
“….in whose eyes a vile person is despised, but who honors those who fear the LORD; who swears to his own hurt and does not change;”(ESV).
As these verses indicate, vow-keeping isn’t always easy, but don’t look at this as an indictment, look at it as an invitation to display love already given. Look at it as an invitation to display the importance of what is important to God. Look at it as an invitation to publicly display that you love your wife like Christ loves the church. Look at it as an invitation to set love on fire, and do so at every opportunity—even using car doors, coats, and chairs.
paul
Until Death Do Us Part…Unless: Job 2:9
I’m not much for pomp and circumstance; now that Susan and I are engaged, I say let’s go to the courthouse, gett’r done, and get on with the Lord’s business of being married. Susan has different ideas. She was sharing one of those ideas with me a couple of weeks ago; specifically, she would like us to kneel together at the alter at some point during the ceremony – a demonstration of humility before the Lord and witnesses.
At first, because of my general indifference to ceremonial subject matter, the idea didn’t exactly raise my pulse rate. But then I started thinking about Job’s wife, and good old-fashioned American wedding vows in general: “…to love and to cherish, in good times and bad, till death do us part.”
Ceremony. Why my disdain? Because of what it has become in this country, especially ceremonies involving vows, and all because the world doesn’t take God seriously. Psalm 15 describes those who are allowed to dwell with God; one of those characteristics is a person “…who keeps his oath even when it hurts…” (verse 4). God is very serious about vows because He doesn’t dwell with those who are not like Him. When God makes a promise – He is faithful, always.
But before we even get to the American wedding vow, you have to eliminate the following consideration: even among professing Christians, weddings have become a ceremony / party hybrid. For example (on Facebook), I read in disbelief as a recent convert confronted the wives of seasoned pastors (well known, and supposedly on the cutting edge of Reformed theology) because they applauded the posting of a video documenting a wedding that had all of the appearances of being traditional until the wedding participants suddenly sprang into a choreograph using a song that depicts illicit sex. Ha, ha, hee, hee, very funny, wow, how cool is that? Well, the pastor’s wives thought it was pretty cool, and encouraged other engaged ladies who were part of that Facebook group to do the same, or something similar. They also dismissed the protesting young lady as, you guessed it, “legalistic.” Go figure.
Now we move on to consider those who wouldn’t cheapen the ceremony in this way, but recite the same vow that Job’s wife recited (or as we may assume, something similar): “…to love and to cherish, in good times and bad, till death do us part, unless_____________”(fill in the blank with just about anything). Job was a good husband (Job 1:1), and when God took away what his wife might have loved most about him (Job 1:3), she said, “curse God and die” (Job 2:9). Job’s reply reveals one of his righteous characteristics; he didn’t accuse her of being characterized by foolishness, but said that she was speaking “like” one of the “foolish women” would speak. And in the context of marriage, and regarding spouses in general, both husbands and wives, what is that? Simply put, it is a spouse that doesn’t understand a major reality regarding wedding vows. Job stated it to her this way: “He replied, ‘You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?’”
That would be the “in good times and bad” part of traditional marriage vows. It is the accepting of whatever God has for us in life as a married couple; good or bad, and faithfulness to each other following. Regarding the “to love and to cherish” part, Job had to minister to himself (Job 2:7,8). As far as the “till death do us part,” Job’s wife is nowhere mentioned by the time his three friends arrive to minister to him. In fact, she insisted that he would shorten that part: “Curse God and die.”
Christians forget that we are in the middle of a war between the kingdom of darkness and the kingdom of light (Job 2:2-6), and married couples are intimate partners in the midst of that warfare; they are to be ready for anything. It is also clear in Scripture that marriage is a major front in that warfare of which the kingdom of darkness is keenly interested (1Corinthians 7:5). Somehow, even among Christians, the marriage ceremony before God and witnesses marking the commitment to stand together in the midst of spiritual warfare, and for God’s glory, has become a flippant, lighthearted affair. At best, the vows are just ceremonial words to be looked at like flower arrangements around the alter, rather than soberly heard to drive the heart to deep resolve. At worst, a mere party where the god of innovation is called on to make the event a “special memory” that will last as long as a thrilling ride on a roller coaster.
Now Susan’s idea looks pretty good. In light of the fact that we do not know what God will call on us to do, we should kneel before God, the angels, and all the human witnesses to call on God to be with us, and to strengthen us in deep love, whether the days be good or evil, that we be found like Him: faithful.
paul
Jay Adams: Marriage is to Solve the Problem of Loneliness, and My Thoughts on Liberating Simplicity
Recently, I had reason to be concerned with the whole issue of divorce and remarriage. I’m just one of those strange guys that thinks God’s opinion matters in how we conduct our lives; in fact, I believe the Bible calls it “walking in the Spirit.” That is, I believe walking in the Spirit is the same as walking according to the will of God as revealed in the Scriptures. Also, I’m old enough to conclude, as I have observed the landscape of life over the past 53 years, that confusion and indecision is bad, and wisdom that leads to doubtless direction is good; you are usually at peace with yourself and the results are mostly favorable. And if the results are not favorable from a pragmatic perspective, our primary goal of pleasing God is still intact anyway; it is always a win / win proposition.
So why would I go out and buy a book (“Marriage, Divorce, And Remarriage In The Bible” by Jay Adams) instead of just looking in the Bible myself? Well, because God’s will in every situation is not always easy to ascertain in the Scriptures. Some life issues are complicated, and God has this really neat system where he pays certain men to study the Scriptures full-time and document what they find, so that layman like myself can get this all-important information in a timely fashion while confirming the conclusions with our own Bibles. Granted, in our day, most of the men that God has blessed with this privilege have squandered the call and continue to come up with better techniques in doing so, but Jay E. Adams is not among them. In fact, though my own situation is extremely unique, somehow, I assumed I would find his (Adams) book a useful tool in finding God’s will and I was right. Confusion bad. Clarity good. Me happy.
But this is really a post about simplicity that liberates. Over the years I have had the privilege of counseling people and watching their response as I unapologetically give them God’s solution from the Scriptures. I never get weary of seeing their response when they find out their dilemma is not nearly as complicated as the world and lame theologians made it out to be. They get this wide-eyed look, then they look down at what you showed them in the Bible on their lap, then they look up at you again, repeating this process several times in some cases. It’s called hope. It’s the halo data you see when a captive to confusion has been set free. It’s the look you get when a person realizes that God’s wisdom supplies a way out according to the Lord’s purposes.
I was reminded of all of this as I approached chapter two of Dr. J’s book. The very title of the chapter stopped me dead in my tracks: “What Marriage Is All About.” Oh my, If only I had a dime for every theory that attempts to answer that question! (why did a picture of Oprah appear in my mind? Weird). But what stopped me in my tracks even more was Dr. J’s biblical answer to the question: marriage is to solve the problem of loneliness. That’s it? Now I was the one with the before mentioned deer-in-the headlight look. Yes, in fact, Adams refers to it as a formal biblical covenant: “The Covenant of Companionship.” He cites Genesis 2:18 to make the point that man is not wired to be alone. By the way, as I was confirming this information I discovered that the English spelling for the Hebrew word “alone” in Gen. 2:18 is B-A-D (according to “E-sword”). That doesn’t mean anything, I just thought it was interesting. Furthermore, I found his assertion that this simple purpose for marriage was an actual covenant in the Bible to be rather bold as well, but in his typical mode of operation, he backed-up this assertion well with Proverbs 2:17 and Malachi 2:14; both of these references specifically link the idea of companionship with the marriage covenant.
So, on one page only, I was taken aback thrice. But now I confess, my surprise came from a bad memory. You see, though much truth in the Bible is simple, the ramifications are profound. The problem of loneliness is profound. Let me explain. I recently experienced the great joy and privilege of accompanying my son-in-law (David) and my daughter on a road trip in which he had several speaking engagements. One night, we stayed at a bed and breakfast owned by friends of David, and that night, several people were invited over for fellowship. As we sat around a large table after dinner, David suggested that every one present share their testimonies. One lady was single for reasons unknown to me, but after sharing how she came to know Christ she began to tell the strangers sitting there about a nemesis in her life: loneliness. As she began to share in regard to this her countenance quickly morphed into an expression of utter despair and she began to openly weep. When this event was brought back to mind as I pondered the Adams thesis I remember her face like I saw it yesterday and a portion of her pain is still with me.
But let’s talk about my failure that night as well. The healing, hope, and encouragement I could have given her that night from the simple truth of God’s word is an unfortunate omission that goes on way too much in Christianity. I could have told her why she felt the way she did, and what God wanted her to do about it. I could have also shared yet another simple, but profound truth that Adams shared on the very next page of that book: singleness and marriage are both gifts (1Cor. 7:6,7), and as Christians, we are commanded to practice our gifts. If one is called to be single, they need to practice that gift, if one is called to companionship, they are called to practice that gift as well. Yes, I could have explained her pain, and tempered her self-pity with God’s loving direction, but I sat in ignorance. Two simple pages – so much pain.
But more can be said of this in something I did right on another occasion. A single man approached me who was being counseled by a pastor in regard to his struggle with being single. Here is where I must practice restraint because I will inform you that I have been known to vent my frustration a time or two on this blog. The young man was being counseled by his pastor that his struggle was due to evil desires from an idol in his heart that was causing him to desire companionship with a woman more than Christ, and if he used Scripture to see more of Christ, his desires would be reoriented, or realigned with a proper desire for Christ, and thus eliminating the struggle at hand. Sigh. Do I really have to expound on the problem here? And how it effects the lives of Christians in profound ways? The desire didn’t come from an idol, the desire came from a void that the Bible fully explains in very simple terms. My counsel to him was to worship Christ by getting married immediately. He looked at me like I was crazy! It was just really all kinds of fun, especially when I told him it might be necessary to change churches because the church where he was attending lacked sufficient candidates, and his pastor was a bozo.
But I did fail on one wise. The young man honestly related his fear that he would fail at marriage. I could have told him that we are gifted at marriage / companionship; it’s a spiritual gift, and God has given us all the spiritual resources we need to be successful at it if we will only obey. Yet another simple, profound, biblical truth that is not always easy to accomplish – it takes effort on our part that goes way beyond the mystic management of heart idols.
By the way, he got married a short time later, and I wasn’t invited to the wedding! Oh well, such is ministry.
paul
Paul's Passing Thoughts 
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