Paul's Passing Thoughts

I’m not much for pomp and circumstance; now that Susan and I are engaged, I say let’s go to the courthouse, gett’r done, and get on with the Lord’s business of being married. Susan has different ideas. She was sharing one of those ideas with me a couple of weeks ago; specifically, she would like us to kneel together at the alter at some point during the ceremony – a demonstration of humility before the Lord and witnesses.

At first, because of my general indifference to ceremonial subject matter, the idea didn’t exactly raise my pulse rate. But then I started thinking about Job’s wife, and good old-fashioned American wedding vows in general: “…to love and to cherish, in good times and bad, till death do us part.”

Ceremony. Why my disdain? Because of what it has become in this country, especially ceremonies involving vows, and all because the world doesn’t take God seriously. Psalm 15 describes those who are allowed to dwell with God; one of those characteristics is a person “…who keeps his oath even when it hurts…” (verse 4). God is very serious about vows because He doesn’t dwell with those who are not like Him. When God makes a promise – He is faithful, always.

But before we even get to the American wedding vow, you have to eliminate the following consideration: even among professing Christians, weddings have become a ceremony / party hybrid. For example (on Facebook), I read in disbelief as a recent convert confronted the wives of seasoned pastors (well known, and supposedly on the cutting edge of Reformed theology) because they applauded the posting of a video documenting a wedding that had all of the appearances of being traditional until the wedding participants suddenly sprang into a choreograph using a song that depicts illicit sex. Ha, ha, hee, hee, very funny, wow, how cool is that? Well, the pastor’s wives thought it was pretty cool, and encouraged other engaged ladies who were part of that Facebook group to do the same, or something similar. They also dismissed the protesting young lady as, you guessed it, “legalistic.” Go figure.

Now we move on to consider those who wouldn’t cheapen the ceremony in this way, but recite the same vow that Job’s wife recited (or as we may assume, something similar): “…to love and to cherish, in good times and bad, till death do us part, unless_____________”(fill in the blank with just about anything). Job was a good husband (Job 1:1), and when God took away what his wife might have loved most about him (Job 1:3), she said, “curse God and die” (Job 2:9). Job’s reply reveals one of his righteous characteristics; he didn’t accuse her of being characterized by foolishness, but said that she was speaking “like” one of the “foolish women” would speak. And in the context of marriage, and regarding spouses in general, both husbands and wives, what is that? Simply put, it is a spouse that doesn’t understand a major reality regarding wedding vows. Job stated it to her this way: “He replied, ‘You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?’”

That would be the “in good times and bad” part of traditional marriage vows. It is the accepting of whatever God has for us in life as a married couple; good or bad, and faithfulness to each other following. Regarding the “to love and to cherish” part, Job had to minister to himself (Job 2:7,8). As far as the “till death do us part,” Job’s wife is nowhere mentioned by the time his three friends arrive to minister to him. In fact, she insisted that he would shorten that part: “Curse God and die.”

Christians forget that we are in the middle of a war between the kingdom of darkness and the kingdom of light (Job 2:2-6), and married couples are intimate partners in the midst of that warfare; they are to be ready for anything. It is also clear in Scripture that marriage is a major front in that warfare of which the kingdom of darkness is keenly interested (1Corinthians 7:5). Somehow, even among Christians, the marriage ceremony before God and witnesses marking the commitment to stand together in the midst of spiritual warfare, and for God’s glory, has become a flippant, lighthearted affair. At best, the vows are just ceremonial words to be looked at like flower arrangements around the alter, rather than soberly heard to drive the heart to deep resolve. At worst, a mere party where the god of innovation is called on to make the event a “special memory” that will last as long as a thrilling ride on a roller coaster.

Now Susan’s idea looks pretty good. In light of the fact that we do not know what God will call on us to do, we should kneel before God, the angels, and all the human witnesses to call on God to be with us, and to strengthen us in deep love, whether the days be good or evil, that we be found like Him: faithful.

paul