Biblical Counseling as Cover-up: Professional Courtesy Among Reformed Pastors is Epidemic
“Why do sharks refuse to eat attorneys? ‘I don’t know, tell me.’ Professional courtesy.”
Doctors, lawyers, and especially policeman (the blue wall of silence) are often known to stick together. Such professional courtesy should not be known among God’s chosen men, but the New Calvinist movement threatens to take such courtesy to new heights not even known among professional pagans. Such professional courtesy enabled Jack Hyles to remain in the pulpit until his death despite behavior that gangsters would even find intolerable. Never before in church history has cowardliness and cronyism seen a greater day among those who call themselves pastors.
The Biblical Counseling Dichotomy
Let there be no doubt about it: biblical counseling for the sheep is different than counseling for the shepherds. Reformed churches, especially New Calvinist churches, have completely integrated a Matthew 18 discipline model into counseling, and without full disclosure. After all, if the sheep knew, they wouldn’t come—this almost obligates them to accept whatever they hear in counseling as gospel (no pun intended). No matter how bad a situation is for a Christian, they are never to turn off their discernment lest they find themselves in worse shape than counseling found them.
Nevertheless, counselees routinely come to a counseling session and are surprised to see one additional elder or two sitting in the room. Tag, counselee is it:
“Hi Bill, I’m sure you know elder John and elder Joe from our church. They are here because the counseling isn’t going very well. Actually, they are here as witnesses because we are placing you under church discipline.”
Bill: “But shouldn’t you have confronted me first before it came to this?”
Counselor: “Bill, I have confronted you about many things in our appointments.”
Bill: “Yes, but I didn’t know that it was in the context of a first step of church discipline!”
Counselor: “Bill, according to Galatians 6:1 and other passages dealing with church discipline, they are both for the purpose of restoring you, so they are the same.”
Bill: “I see. Well, I agree, I have been stubborn in regard to some issues. No need for the discipline, I will follow your instruction on the major point we disagree on.”
Counselor: “Uh, Bill, that’s not exactly how it works. You will be under church discipline until you are released from counseling.”
Five months later:
Bill: “Look, this counseling is going nowhere. I have decided to leave this church and enter into counseling somewhere else.”
Counselor: “I’m afraid that’s unacceptable Bill. You can’t vacate membership here to avoid church discipline. The elders will not find that acceptable.”
Bill: “What are they going to do about it?”
Counselor: “You will be excommunicated and declared an unbeliever before the congregation Bill.”
Notice that “Bill” was not immediately dismissed from the discipline process upon verbal repentance according to Luke 17:4. Not only is this present-day biblical counseling protocol unbiblical, but in most states it is a first degree felony to control any person in any way under threat of financial loss or loss of reputation. Under most State law, it is called “Coercion” under the “Kidnapping” statutes. This type of counseling/discipline is a criminal act, and also unbiblical. Furthermore, in most of these cases, the counselor is looking for a conversion to Gospel Sanctification; that’s why this process is often referred to as “redemptive church discipline.” The counseling will entail a lot of “showing forth of the gospel” without any instruction which over time confuses the counselee. This leads to a stalemate, further steps of discipline, and in many cases, excommunication.
Once a parishioner is under church discipline or excommunicated in Reformed/Neo-Calvinistic circles, professional courtesy is on steroids. Other pastors will not intervene, no matter how grievous the situation. Here is a snippet of the types of pleas this ministry hears from time to time:
“I don’t know what you can do if anything, however, we are contacting anyone possible in an attempt for help. The governmental system of the Presbyterian church, designed to protect us, is now being used as a weapon.”
But the biblical prescription for sinning, abusive pastors is not even taken seriously:
1 Timothy 5:20
But those elders who are sinning you are to reprove before everyone, so that the others may take warning.
When it comes to the sheep—by the letter, and then some. But regarding elders, professional courtesy kicks into high gear. What better example than the present “counseling” of CJ Mahaney by well-known New Calvinists? Mahaney was finally forced to step down from his position as president of Sovereign Grace Ministries because layman took action by erecting websites exposing his significant shortcomings as a leader. He was not confronted by his New Calvinist pals who often wax eloquent about transparency, humbleness, and confession, but with millions on the line in regard to conference revenues from T4G and Resolved, Mahaney is on a New Calvinist sponsored sabbatical to “reflect on his shortcomings.” It is obviously an image rebuilding project. Mahaney is still officially listed as the president of SGM and will still be a part of the “core four” at this year’s T4G conference.
But on the one hand, these pastors will not overstep their supposed bounds to help distressed parishioners in the local church, while on the other hand, a Presbyterian and two Southern Baptists have come to Mahaney’s (a Charismatic) rescue against people he has sinned against!
To put the icing on this sickening hypocrisy, CCEF, who counsels people for $85.00 per hour, does not invoke church discipline on their counselees because they are paying customers!
Damage Control Organizations
Organizations spawned by the Reformed counseling movement such as Peacekeepers International and G.R.A.C.E are clearly damage control organizations paid for by the laity to protect pastors and church organizations. A point in case is a situation that I have firsthand knowledge of involving Peacekeepers International. A parishioner was brought up on church discipline that was obviously bogus, and Peacekeepers was asked to intervene by a well-known pastor in biblical counseling circles. Peacekeepers declined because according to them, they only enter into mediation between Christians, and since said individual was under church discipline and declared an unbeliever, it was technically not a matter between Christians. Words cannot describe how lame this excuse is as a ploy to avoid mediating the cause of a wronged believer against elders.
Yet another case is the involvement of G.R.A.C.E in the Bangladesh Missionary Kids affair. Here is what I wrote concerning that situation in another post:
If the ABWE Former Missionary Children (Hereafter FMC, not “MKs”) put some stock in GRACE, the parachurch organization that “teaches” the Christian community how to deal with child abuse in a “Godly” way, then so will I, but not totally. I have some concerns…. That brings me to the latest “investigation update” by GRACE concerning the ABWE horror story. It begins as follows:
First phase? How many phases are there going to be? Why is more than one phase needed? The document, throughout, invokes all kinds of questions of this sort. And, “GRACE plans to schedule additional interviews….” Why do they have to “plan” to schedule? Is it really that complicated? Once again, the FMC are waiting for somebody “important” to do something. My grandmother had a word for it and often scolded us with it: “lollygagging.”
The report continued….
Huh? GRACE “hoped” to gather information? The document is full of tentative, overcautious language. The interviews succeeded in “beginning” to “help” “build” (how big is the building going to be and how long is it going to take to build it?) an understanding? For crying out loud, the FMC have already built the case with all kinds of documentation! The job is more than half done! And GRACE’s proclamation that God put his stamp of approval on it all regarding their interviews is just classic, and arrogant. But I will again mention that where GRACE will hopefully have some value is in their final ”thorough,” “balanced,” “independent” report; if it gets completed before the second coming. And we certainly don’t want any victims muddying up the waters with their own assessment of getting molested by the ABWE icon, Donn Ketcham—that just wouldn’t be “independent” and “balanced.”
Then, GRACE concluded the snail race report with the news that they are expanding the investigation to “non-MKs” in addition to the FMC they presently don’t have time to interview. Good grief! In addition, they are going to spend time singing Pat a Cake, Pat a Cake, with a “new” ABWE “liaison” regarding ABWE’s lack of cooperation with full disclosure—unlike Penn State which has committed to full disclosure—day one.
In my estimation, G.R.AC.E is simply going to counsel this situation to death until it goes away. This is nothing more than damage control. It reminds me of a big-name church leader who responded to a molestation victim regarding her insistence that her attacker be removed from the ministry in his denomination: “ What do you want me to do, shoot him?”
I would say, “No, we want you to practice 1Timothy 5:20. We want you to take some of your book royalties, buy a ticket, get on a jet Saturday night, go to his church the next morning, wait till he is into his sermon for about ten minutes, then get up, walk down the aisle, and rebuke him in front of the congregation. Somehow, that is more radical than molestation.
paul
How Most Pastors Today Use The Bible
“….if the higher law of love abrogates the law of Scripture, it sure as hell abrogated your by-laws. I find the incredulous demeanor of people who come to me with these reports both adorable and naive. It’s time for Christians to wake up and start drinking more coffee.”
I’m wondering; can we begin calling our present day, “The Age of the Australian Forum”? If you really want to understand what’s going on in the church theologically, read the Forum’s journal: Present Truth Magazine. It can be obtained online for free through a Progressive Adventist church that archived most of the issues.
The Forum’s hermeneutic was based on their thesis, the centrality of the objective gospel completely outside of us (COGOUS) which is supposedly the lost doctrine of the Reformation. It’s monergism on steroids. We are so wicked and totally depraved, that objective truth can only be outside of us. When truth starts being processed inside of us, the only result can be subjectivism.
What to do then? Answer: focus on central truth that is the “power of the gospel.” Basically, gospel, gospel, and more gospel transforms us into Christ likeness. We need to saturate ourselves with information about the works of Christ, not anything we would do. Hence, pithy truisms like, “Not, ‘What would Jesus do?’ But, ‘What has Jesus done.’”
Supposedly, saturating ourselves with what Jesus has done, not anything that we would do fills our hearts with gratitude and makes us willing and joyful participants in obedience. However, the key is to focus on gospel and then allow works to flow from that. Obedience when we don’t feel like it, or out of duty, is not “done in love” And, the point isn’t how well we do that—because we are not “under law, but under grace.” The point is not to “obey in our own efforts.” Results are not the goal, we can’t affect any results anyway; the goal is to avoid “making our sanctification the basis of our justification.” In other words, all works must flow from justification truth and the “power of the gospel.” Just focus on gospel, and let the “active obedience of Christ” take care of the rest.
This is because Christ was not only obedient to the cross (known as His “passive” obedience), but also lived a perfect life so that His obedience for sanctification could be imputed to us as well (Christ’s “active” obedience). Hence, and don’t miss this, if we try to obey in sanctification, we are trying to accomplish works that have already been finished by Christ as part of the atonement, and thus making our sanctification the grounds of our justification because the two are fused together and part of the atonement with Christ living a perfect life here on Earth for one, and dying for the other. Got that? This makes sanctification very tricky business. At any time, we could be unwittingly “making our sanctification the grounds of our justification.”
Come now, admit it, we hear this lingo all the time reverberating throughout churchianity.
Where does the use of the Bible fit into all of this? Answer: it is a tool for the gospel contemplationism needed to transform us into the likeness of Christ. All of the commands in the Bible are to remind us of the fact that Christ obeyed all of them for us (this is the basis of the New Calvinist motto, “Christ for us”). Biblical imperatives are supposed to remind us of the futility of trying to keep them ourselves while invoking thankfulness for what Jesus has done “for us,” not anything we do. However, polity framework is considered to be a separate issue. They concede that the Bible contains guidelines for structuring the church, but that is for practical function and is separate from “spiritual formation.” Moreover, this view contends that the Holy Spirit only illumines when the Bible is used to see the gospel in a deeper and deeper way. And also, aside from practical use for structuring, seeing the Bible through the prism of gospel (ie., Christ the person and His works) interprets the Bible itself for all uses in “spiritual formation.”
Now, since Christ already fulfilled the law and imputed it to us, our goal isn’t to follow specific imperatives in the Bible, but rather to fulfill the “higher law of love” that Christ has instituted to replace the “fulfilled” law which is now abrogated by the “higher law of Christ.” What does that look like?! Answer: it looks like whatever the gospel produces! Because, when it’s the result of the gospel, it can’t be wrong! If the elders of your church are “saturated with the gospel”—they can’t be wrong, and it may, or may not look like “the dead letter of the law,” ie., biblical imperatives not seen in their “gospel context.” As Francis Chan states it: “When you are loving, you can’t sin.”
Look folks, this ministry sees this approach to the Bible fleshing itself out in real-life church situations daily: “But, but, how can they do this?! It is clearly against Scripture!” No, in their minds, it is against a law that has been abrogated by the higher law of Christ. “But, but, what’s that?” Answer: whatever results in the elders being saturated with the gospel, that’s what. And then there is the whole issue of New Calvinist elders poo—pooing church constitutions and by-laws. Trust me, if the higher law of love abrogates the law of Scripture, it sure as hell abrogated your by-laws. I find the incredulous demeanor of people who come to me with these reports both adorable and naive. It’s time for Christians to wake up and start drinking more coffee.
Let me tell you what the perfect cover is and why so many pastors get away with using the Bible this way. In fact, I will begin to explain with a question: how many great sermons can be preached about the awesomeness of Christ and all that He has done for us? Answer: how many books has John Piper written? And people rave about all of them! But what is missing? Answer: aside from a truckload, Matthew 7:24-27. One of the best friendships I have was brought about when she objected to an article I wrote along these lines, and mentioned a book by John Piper that was supposedly “full of biblical instruction.” I then responded and encouraged her to reread the book and list every biblical life application she could find. She did just that and contacted me by email: “Your right. This is a real eye opener.”
What prompted this post? I read this article here: article link. Read it for yourself and let me know if it rings any bells.
paul
A Slow GRACE for the Former Missionary Children: Part One
If the ABWE Former Missionary Children (Hereafter FMC, not “MKs”) put some stock in GRACE, the parachurch organization that “teaches” the Christian community how to deal with child abuse in a “Godly” way, then so will I, but not totally. I have some concerns.
First, let me be clear: GRACE’s involvement can (and probably will) yield some useful results in this situation. The GRACE report will probably be detailed and damning, a monument following the name of ABWE like a shadow until the second coming. Even if the report will take ten pages to make each point, and it probably will, the FMC can glean the relevant parts and report it on their website. And remember, if not for the FMC’s website, GRACE probably wouldn’t be involved right now.
Of course, instead of that monument, ABWE could have a monument like Penn State now has. The placard reads something like this: “When Penn State found out, heads rolled immediately—zero tolerance and not even Joe Paterno was spared.” Moreover, there is even talk now that Joe Paterno could be brought up on criminal charges. And trust me; Donn Ketcham is no Joe Paterno. The two cases are a profound study in contrast, and not for the wiser in regard to ABWE.
That brings me to the latest “investigation update” by GRACE concerning the ABWE horror story. It begins as follows:
First phase? How many phases are there going to be? Why is more than one phase needed? The document, throughout, invokes all kinds of questions of this sort. And, “GRACE plans to schedule additional interviews….” Why do they have to “plan” to schedule? Is it really that complicated? Once again, the FMC are waiting for somebody “important” to do something. My grandmother had a word for it and often scolded us with it: “lollygagging.”
The report continued….
Huh? GRACE “hoped” to gather information? The document is full of tentative, overcautious language. The interviews succeeded in “beginning” to “help” “build” (how big is the building going to be and how long is it going to take to build it?) an understanding? For crying out loud, the FMC have already built the case with all kinds of documentation!! The job is more than half done! And GRACE’s proclamation that God put his stamp of approval on it all regarding their interviews is just classic, and arrogant. But I will again mention that where GRACE will hopefully have some value is in their final ”thorough,” “balanced,” “independent” report; if it gets completed before the second coming. And we certainly don’t want any victims muddying up the waters with their own assessment of getting molested by the ABWE icon, Donn Ketcham—that just wouldn’t be “independent” and “balanced.”
Then, GRACE concluded the snail race report with the news that they are expanding the investigation to “non-MKs” in addition to the FMC they presently don’t have time to interview. Good grief! In addition, they are going to spend time singing Pat a Cake, Pat a Cake, with a “new” ABWE “liaison” regarding ABWE’s lack of cooperation with full disclosure—unlike Penn State which has committed to full disclosure—day one.
Somebody please convince me that GRACE is not just another organization like Peacekeepers International that is primarily in business to keep para-church organizations from going belly-up. The message from Penn State is clear: “You better not mess with our money, even if your name is Joe Paterno.” Our message needs to be, “You better not mess with our children, even if your name is Donn Ketcham.” That was Jesus’ message also. Rather than messing with the kingdom’s children, you would be better off tying a millstone around your neck and casting yourself in a lake. That is unlike GRACE’s message which is overly concerned with “balance,” thoroughness,” and a “Godly response.” We don’t need GRACE’s lectures on Godly responses, the FMC have already set that example and GRACE needs to learn more about that from them. How long have they patiently endured all of this? Enough is enough. It’s time to get this done.
Paul
Part 2: A GRACE Theology for the Former Missionary Children
Extending Grace?
I am having great difficulty with answering some of the questions in my First Place 4 Health Bible Study. The questions have to do with extending grace to others in order to influence their belief in God, and offering grace to others because grace in an undeserved gift from God. I went to my favorite online dictionary to broaden my perspective on the word grace. There were definitions from Christian theology to Greek goddesses, luck to a blessing said at a meal- 21 different definitions for the word grace when used as a noun.
I went to the concordance of my trusty New Scofield Reference Bible and looked up the many verses from both Old and New Testaments that contained the word grace and gained more insight about the word.
How to answer the two questions from my Bible Study requires me to answer two other questions first:
1) Whose grace am I extending, God’s or my own in order to influence others in their belief in God? (The study question was: How might your extending grace to others influence their belief in God/)
2) Whose grace do I offer to others, God’s or my own? (The study question was: If grace is an undeserved gift from God (not a reward that is earned), then how should that affect our attitude about offering grace to others?)
Grace is an undeserved gift from God. My salvation is because of His grace. For by grace are you saved through faith, and that not of yourselves it is the gift of God. Eph. 2:8,9 I cannot offer salvation to others, only God through His grace can save; therefore, I must conclude that I extend a human act of grace to others in hope to influence their belief in God. ( Right?) Which definition of grace do I extend? Kindness and compassion, love, mercy, favor, disposition to serve another, a privilege conferred? It certainly must depend upon the situation and person. (Right?) I can only offer human expressions of grace to those around me and I must offer those expressions with humility and as acts of service.
There are numerous times we offer too much grace to our believing friends and that in turn creates an unhealthy spiritual environment for all parties. We can keep extending grace to sinning friends so that it becomes a shield or an excuse for their continuing in wrong behavior or sin. There is a place for biblical confrontation and great care and discernment must be used to determine when to extend grace or when to apply consequences.
Let me cite this recent example:
I returned to the First Place 4 Health Bible Study and Support Group after having been absent for over a year.( Paul and I were ministering on Wednesday evenings at another church.) The core group of women was still present, as well as several new enrollees. While listening to several of the core members I realized one was still discussing the same issue: how to keep from going to Tim Horton’s for mocha lattes. For the three years she had been with us in the group, she was still struggling with mocha lattes. (She had not lost any weight over the course of the three years.) To my horror, the ladies laughed it off and then began talking about deep fried Snickers, and other unhealthy snacks they preferred. The answer from the leader,” Well Dee, we’ll just have to pray for you this week.”
Where is grace in that? Dee should have been confronted about how she was taking the First Place Commitments and making them a mockery. She should have been given a plan for having success in making better choices that involved her husband and children to help hold her accountable. How was extending more grace to Dee influencing the new members to put off the unhealthy habits that created the fat rolls and put on healthy habits instead? It created instead a loophole for those new members. “When I consistently make wrong choices, there will be more grace extended to me”, is what they will begin to believe. In AA circles this is called “enabling the addict.”
Our First Place group should attend some AA meetings. If an alcoholic were to confess that they struggled with going through the drive through to purchase wine coolers, the AA leader and the other members would spend a large amount of time confronting that member and coming up with a plan for more accountability. How do I know that? I used to attend 2-3 AA meetings a week with Wayne ( my first husband, now deceased), and witnessed several times how weak members were confronted about their choices. No grace. They were rebuked, instructed in the rules of AA, and offered help to be victorious one day at a time. Why should we women who make First Place Commitments to eat healthy and follow the “live-it plan” be treated any differently? Come on, First Place Friends—stop using grace as an excuse for bad behavior!
susan
Paul's Passing Thoughts 
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