A Passing Thought on the Roles of Christian Women in the Church
Funny, this website was originally designed to tweet “passing thoughts.” Obviously, it’s more like passing books and essays instead. Recently, I have made some friends with those who are active in proclaiming the equality of women in the church. Ok, I will just be honest here, the mere stating of that invokes visions of the second century feminists who ran through the streets of Corinth topless while spearing pigs. And I understand they wore helmets also. However, I have also thought about how delightful it would be for such a group to show up at this year’s T4G conference. I would even be willing to supply pig costumes free of charge to keynote speakers. Of course, under the guise that it is a great way to show our total depravity and worthlessness before God. Farfetched? Well, you ever heard of the “Scream of the Damned”?
I received an email yesterday from one such friend and browsed some of the links that were supplied. Nervously, I might add. Why the curiosity? I will tell you. I am concerned with an issue I have seen in New Calvinism for some time , but there is so much major error in the movement that I have not had time to address it; namely, the gargantuan expectations on men in regard to leading their families. I have watched this for some time and strongly suspect that I know what is behind it. As Yoda would say, “Suspect strongly, I do.”
Sorry, but I have watched this long enough to make a charge: control, it’s a control tactic. The lightbulb switched on when I was watching a how to be a good husband video by Mark Driscoll. Halfway through, I thought, “Geez, when would you have time to study the word of God and teach it to your family?” Then the next thought was, “duh.” According to Cultwatch.com, one of the primary elements of a cult is “time control.” That rings a bell with me. While attending a dinner that I was invited to by concerned parents of a young man who attended a New Calvinist church, one of their primary concerns was, “They always have something going on; everything he is learning is coming from them corporately or from an invited speaker. We have wanted to question him about this church, but there is no time; he is always there!” Exactly.
Then consider the movement’s position on women bloggers and those who show discernment. I have written a few articles on this. I am just really uncomfortable with the whole busy husbands and silent women in the kitchen motif. And as far as the women’s role? The Scriptures are clear, no man sits at the city gates without a Proverbs 31 wife. And husbands with Koolaid drinking wives only appear to be sitting at the city gates—they are really the gates of appeasement and cowardliness.
So, I partook in a flyby of the material. Some initial points were made that caught my attention. I will be back, with my hand on my spiritual wallet, but also with curiosity fueled by disturbing trends that I see concerning the roles of women in the church.
paul
Enablement: Words Don’t Always Mean What We Think They Mean to Others
My dear Paul asked if I would write my perspective on being enabled by the Holy Spirit. We are having differences of opinion on what enablement means. I realize that my perspective will not be full of theological depth, proof texts, or biblical word analysis. My perspective will come from a personal angle.
My first inclination is to say, “Yes. The Holy Spirit enables us to do the will of the Father.” However, all the enablement was given to us at salvation. I must appropriate that enablement in order to accomplish the will of my heavenly Father.
Consider these examples:
a) By strength man is enabled to work.
b) Wealth enables men to be charitable or to live in luxury.
c) The law enables us to dispose of our property by will.
d) Learning and industry enable men to investigate the laws of nature.
The outside source, whether a person, event, or thing renders one capable or able to accomplish some task. A person must act upon that enablement in order to accomplish the desired activity. Strength enables one to work, but if strength is not applied, work is not accomplished. The rope enables you to secure yourself when you climb the mountain. The rope will not do the mountain climbing for you. You must use the enablement (rope) to accomplish the desired task (climbing the mountain). The Holy Spirit supplies the enablement ( at salvation), the believer must appropriate the enablement in order to accomplish the will of the Father. The enabler (Holy Spirit) is always there, the enablement (strength, power, ability ) have already been provided, the believer appropriates it.
There is another consideration with enablement. In today’s society if one is labeled an enabler it connotes a negative and undesirable accusation. Consider this example:
Hi. My name is Susan and I am a recovering enabler. Years ago I was confronted about being an enabler. Not me. I was a loving, caring, submissive Christian wife whose goal in marriage was to build up my husband with honor and respect. After all, we were going to serve the Lord together. Our vows were taken from the book of Ruth: where you go I will go. We lit the unity candle signifying to all who came to our wedding that we were going to be one flesh, one mind, one heart. I was a good Christian wife, not an enabler. An enabler helps people continue in their addictions. An enabler is a wimpy, floor mat of a wife who has no life of her own apart from her husband’s wishes and whims. That certainly was not Susan St. Denis! I was not an enabler.
My name is Susan and I am a recovering enabler. Years ago I was confronted about my being an enabler. Yes, me. I finally admitted it to myself ,to my pastor and to my closest friends. The counsel I received from my pastor was to keep trying to “fix” what was broken in my first husband, Wayne. I needed to show Wayne that I needed him. I was to become a Total Christian Woman, the perfect, submissive wife. In doing so he would see that his addictions could not give him what I could provide. I was told by my pastors that I was not submissive enough and had a rebellious spirit and when I got right with the Lord, then my husband would follow suit. Sadly, this “biblical” counsel given to me by my pastors only fueled his addictions and deepened my enablement. In my attempts at fixing, I also rescued, coached him when he tried recovery programs, nursed him back to health after being beat almost to death by his drug dealers, and was his cheerleader during the sober times. I was his bank, his bill payer, his bail bondsman, and the accountable one. I was an enabler, a martyr, lost and wounded. However, without me to help him he would have had to face the consequences of his actions and that might have interfered with his continued use. I protected him from consequences and from himself. Sadly, I enabled him to die an early death at the age of 55. Two years before his death, I stopped running interference for him, stopped making excuses, and stopped shielding him from the consequences of his addictions. He died of congestive heart failure, and a diabetic coma all directly related to his alcohol addiction. IF I had not assumed the role of enabler would Wayne’s life have taken a different course?
When Paul asked me to write comments about the Holy Spirit being an enabler, I cringed. You can certainly see how this term bears many negative connotations for me, and to associate enabling to the work of the Holy Spirit evokes unpleasant thoughts. I would rather think of the Holy Spirit as my helper as we co-labor together to grow in the wisdom and knowledge of the Lord. However, when I became a believer I was enabled by the Holy Spirit with the same power that resurrected our Lord from the dead. I was rescued from hell, saved from the penalty of sin, redeemed by His blood, forgiven, justified by faith, and empowered by the Holy Spirit on that day I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior. The Holy Spirit’s enablement (being empowered) is a one time event. He does have a continual role in my life as His child. He convicts of sin, He is a helper, a comforter, a counselor, an advocate with the Father.
When I hear or read of someone who says that “the Holy Spirit enabled them to do thus and so” it makes me wonder, “In what way?” Are they saying that the Holy Spirit shielded consequences so that the activity so desired can continue? Are they saying the Holy Spirit smoothed things out so as to not to rock the boat? Are they saying that the Holy Spirit provided financial assets so that choices can continue? Knowing what the term enable means and all its ramifications, I encourage believers to use it with care. Coming from my personal experience of 36 years of being an enabler, and how today’s world sees enablement, another biblical term would seem more appropriate to describe the work of the Holy Spirit.
My name is Susan and I am a recovering enabler.
Paul's Passing Thoughts 
leave a comment