Paul's Passing Thoughts

The problem is all inside your head, she said to me

the answer is easy if you take it logically.

I’d like to help you in your struggle to be free

there must be 50 ways to leave your lover.

She said it’s really not my habit to intrude

furthermore I hope my meaning won’t be lost or misconstrued

but I’ll repeat myself, at the risk of being crude

there must be 50 ways to leave your lover.

Chorus:

Just slip out the back, Jack

make a new plan, Stan

don’t need to be coy, Roy

just get yourself free

hop on the bus, Gus

don’t need to discuss much

just drop off the key, Lee

and get yourself free.

She said it grieves me so to see you in such pain

I wish there was something I could do to make you smile again

I said, I appreciate that,

and would you please explain about the 50 ways.

She said, why don’t we both just sleep on it tonight

and I believe that in the morning you’ll begin to see the light

and then she kissed me and I realized she probably was right

there must be 50 ways to leave your lover

50 ways to leave your lover…

The quandary is fairly common in our day: your spouse stinks, but none of their faults rise to biblical grounds for divorce. You’re stuck; there is no way out without losing your appearance of righteousness. But the problem is all inside your head, the answer is easy if you take it logically. I’d like to help you in your struggle to be free; New Calvinism is the key. Make a new plan, there is bound to be a New Calvinist church near you.

Take heart, the only standard is that your marriage, “looks like the gospel.” After all, love is not about verbs, it’s not about what we do, but rather a noun: Jesus, and what He has done. These New Calvinist churches pride themselves on having a building full of marriages that look like the gospel, and how that is accomplished is the key.

It’s not my habit to intrude, but ask your spouse the following question to conclude if the New Calvinist plan could lead to sanctified solitude:

Honey, do you believe that all obedience that the Lord values is the result of gospel contemplationism that results in a joyful mere natural flow of actions that Christ already accomplished for us while He lived on Earth. And if we try to obey God in our own efforts in sanctification, or out of mere duty, do you believe that equals works salvation and is not living by faith alone?

And if they say,

No honey, that’s ridiculous. It sounds like some kind of antinomianism to me.

I’ll repeat myself, at the risk of being crude: there must be 50 ways to leave your lover, but this is the only one you need. Such a rejection of the true gospel is why your marriage does not glorify Jesus….just get yourself free.

Sign up for “biblical counseling” at your local Reformed church where they believe any sanctification that is not by faith alone is an “abomination.” There is not much to discuss; eventually, the errant spouse will be placed in “redemptive” church disciple because it’s “redemptive” for those who don’t believe in monergistic sanctification. Once the spouse is “declared an unbeliever”—they have abandoned you “in their heart”—you can get yourself free.

Just slip out the back, Jack

make a new plan, Stan

don’t need to be coy, Roy

just get yourself free

hop on the bus, Gus

don’t need to discuss much

just drop off the key, Lee

and get yourself free.

paul