Paul's Passing Thoughts

As I said in part one, the monumental importance of this book is the re-discovery of Ephesians 5:33 and the fact that it will take team work on the part of both spouses to make any marriage work. Ephesians 5:33 breaks down the two primary responsibilities for the husband and wife. The husband is to love his wife and the wife is to respect the husband. Dr. E thinks there are deep reasons for this distinction and he is right. In chapters one and two, he begins to build on this premise with the importance of communication and what I would call needs enablement. I am not big on “love languages” or any kind of  hierarchy of needs philosophy, if indeed that is where Dr. E is going with this. It is too early to tell, but he has earned a complete hearing on the matter. For sure, he makes his case on how fallen communication disrupts the Ephesians 5:33 goal. Also, I wouldn’t buy the idea that the husband has to receive respect before he can love the wife, but let’s not focus on that. Suffice to say, if a husband knows he isn’t respected by the wife, it creates a huge obstacle to love and strips the husband of the big H, hope. Why even end up there? Marriage – hope + lack of belief in God’s word = divorce. Divorce is rarely the result of failure on the part of onespouse. Two sinners in the same house with one claiming complete innocence is suspect at best.

More on all of the above later. Going into chapter three, Dr. E addresses “unconditional respect” on the part of the wife and though I am not that far yet, I assume he addresses “unconditional love” on the part of the husband later in the chapter. Where he got the gaul to actually exergete that concept from Ephesians 5:33 is anybodies guess. Gee, could he really be a Dr.? But this is the plain sense of the text by virtue of the fact that Paul presents it as an imperative with no “if”, “ands”, or “but’s.” Paul says the husband is to love his wife and the wife is to respect the husband. End of conversation. But I find Dr. E’s insertion of the truthful but outragous “unconditional respect” concept a breath of fresh air in the junkyard of broken marriage models. Once you grasp this simple concept, you see it everywhere you go as you observe couples functioning in the malieu of life. As Dr. E testifies, wives in troubled marriages will quickly testify that they love their husbands, but when you ask them if they repect their husbands, you get what I call a “Scooby Doo” in the headlights look. It’s not only the look, it’s also the “Uhrrrrr?” One respected pastors wife and counselor put it this way: “Deep, deep down inside, every wife thinks her husband is an idiot.” Who can deny that TV panders to this view thru a mirriad of commercials and sitcoms. Our culture is awash with this mentality in just about every corner and churches are no exception. When was the last time you heard a sermon on “unconditional respect” on the part of the wife? In this chapter, Dr. E discusses the “why” in regard to wives not respecting their husbands and hopefully right thinking that leads to respect and the same in regard to husbands loving their wives. Stay tuned.

paul