Paul's Passing Thoughts

Calvinism and Urine Technology

Posted in Uncategorized by Paul M. Dohse Sr. on February 1, 2013

ppt-jpeg4Calvinists often intimidate us with oceans of ink left behind by the brilliant, spiritual, educated children spawned by John Calvin: the Puritans. Calvinists like John Piper display their spiritual swagger by quoting the Puritans and making everyone aware that they read them daily. Of course, this plays on the utter ignorance of present-day Christians. Their authority is no longer the really thick pamphlet dropped down from heaven called the Bible—its orthodoxy. Orthodoxy is an analysis of God’s mass publication to people indwelt by His illumining Spirit by the church’s “Divines” of whom many were Puritans. They repackaged God’s word for consumption for the unenlightened masses.

So, when these brainiacs took the urine of accused witches and made cakes from it, and then fed the cakes to dogs in order to watch their reaction for a verdict, we need to understand that what the Divines do at times is the “foolishness of the cross.” We wouldn’t understand. This is activity that is on another spiritual plane; so, recite Luther’s Small Catechism and keep your mouth shut. The Small Catechism is one of  Voddie Baucham’s recommendations for use in family devotions. He is really big on husbands being the “family shepherd” and leading the family Bible studies with….orthodox creeds, not anything that would come from their own brains.

Much could be discussed in regard to the lovely traditions that the Puritans brought with them when they were driven out of Europe as political refugees. But let’s talk about urine. Actually, urine tasting was the state of the art research born of European theocracies during Medieval times. How the urine of the subject tasted was used to determine what ailed them. Several examples of medical charts are displayed below for your educational enjoyment. Click to enlarge them, but if you are a Calvinist, don’t try this at home—it’s not orthodoxy!



“But Paul, didn’t the Puritans have a lot of awesome things to say about God? Isn’t there much to be learned from them?” No, not in the long run because of their flawed logic. Notice that they aren’t around anymore. Why not?  Because Puritanism cannot function without theocracy. Their logic led to the persecution of the Quakers via hanging etc., and when society had enough, an end was forced in regard to their theocracy. No theocracy—no Puritanism. And frankly, the same goes for authentic Calvinism. Calvinism exists today because their logic had to be adjusted for survival. Here at TANC, we call them, “sanctified Calvinists.” Yes, they have done the church some good because they don’t share the same logic.

I really wonder if this latest resurgence of authentic Calvinism will put an end to it because of the Information Age that we are in. Nobody calls themself a “Puritan” in our day. Will the day come when few will call themselves a Calvinist? Authentic Calvinism doesn’t work, and people will only use a clock that doesn’t work for so long; the fact that it is useful twice a day does not end up being enough. Once again, the same old superstitions of authentic Calvinism are showing themselves in the contemporary church. The basis is the idea of spiritual caste: the idea that preordained enlightened mediators should rule over the unenlightened masses. Theocracy comes part and parcel with that logic.

“But Paul, Neo-Calvinism is thriving right now in America and America doesn’t allow theocracies.” Oh really? Many New Calvinist “ministries” in our day are nothing less than Little Geneva. They have their own in-house police stations, and control parishioners by almost every means of the past save the death penalty alone. This ministry is compiling a list of various means that these ministries are using to control people through first-hand testimony. Other than the intimidation of armed in-house security forces, they are using “biblical counseling” to compile information on people that can be used to control them. That angle can be seen in living color via the public transcript of CJ Mahaney telling the cofounder of SGM that confidential counseling records would be made public if he left SGM for doctrinal reasons. Let there be no doubt: this is standard protocol in New Calvinist churches. And if they don’t have the dirt on you, they will fabricate it. That’s just fact.

Getting back to superstition—that is also the inevitable result of caste logic. Many blogs document the weirdness in this movement that gets crazier each month. And dismissal of comparisons due to medieval ignorance doesn’t cut it. Sure, urine isn’t used in counseling today (at least not yet), but instead we have rapists counseling their own victims in the church office!

It’s the logic. And in the Information Age, what happens in Salem doesn’t stay in Salem.


20 Responses

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  1. paulspassingthoughts said, on February 1, 2013 at 1:06 pm

    Reblogged this on Clearcreek Chapel Watch.

  2. trust4himonly- Faith said, on February 1, 2013 at 1:19 pm

    Now this one will get the Calvinists in a bunch…. What if I told them that they are no different then the Scientology group that is making the news today. These guys will do personality tests on newcomers so to control them. All these guys are the same- it has one thing in common CONTROL.

  3. paulspassingthoughts said, on February 1, 2013 at 1:30 pm


    I will google it.

  4. trust4himonly said, on February 1, 2013 at 3:53 pm

    oh yeh Paul…..I did some research on Scientology – reallly bad stuff. The personality tests they do then determine how they will treat the newcomer. In fact, if that persons personality is positive and strong in one area, they will completely tell them that they are opposite and start to diminish their personhood. Actually, this is sad because these are unbelievers who search for meaning in themselves other then Christ. The people who have escaped are messed up, but those who stay in are just complete robots. The men in control are in the top positions of any organization, such as government, schools, hospitals, – you name it, they are there.

  5. Argo said, on February 1, 2013 at 6:33 pm

    Incidentally, There is a great Southpark episode about Scientology. Learned all about it. :-)

  6. Lydia said, on February 2, 2013 at 12:54 pm

    You are right the determinist decreetal god paradigm does not do well long term without state power behind it. Historically it dies out or goes liberal but resurges in different forms. That is why today you see so much ignoring of history in that movement. They write off the behavior of the leaders with “men of their time” defenses when we know there were much different men and women of the same time who dared to disagree and paid a high price.

    Today, without state power, we see the methods include redefining sin so that molestation is a lesser sin than disagreeing with the leader. Or that ALL sin is equal so the victim is a sinner, too, which leads to bizarre thinking on justice. Other methods are censoring and a big focus on obeying leaders who “care” for you. This focus is most clear when looking at movements like SGM or Mars Hill.

    You can browse any blog where Reformed pastors are talking and see how they deal with these issues when brought up. Most of them simply censor using shame tactics or don’t allow convos from the peasants. The ones where pastors from both sides are very interesting. It seems to me that most of that movement is represented by what I see is a form of arrested emotional development especially the ones coming out of SBTS and SEBTS. They cannot handle being challenged specifically which makes no sense because by their own teaching they are depraved and their hearts are wicked. So why would I listen to them?

  7. JeffB said, on February 2, 2013 at 1:24 pm

    Well, at least Calvinists haven’t been into snake handling. (Insert your joke here.)

  8. trust4himonly- Faith said, on February 2, 2013 at 2:35 pm

    Argo…. you watch Southpark??? :(

    I am sure you learned more there about Scientology then if you joined.

  9. paulspassingthoughts said, on February 2, 2013 at 3:04 pm


    I like the one where a Reformed blogger asked the other Reformed pastors commenting what they were going to do about me calling him a heretic.

  10. paulspassingthoughts said, on February 2, 2013 at 3:06 pm


    They find other weirdness. Like the elder who laid out all of his financial statements on a big table at a Bible study and insisted that the group read it all.

  11. lydiasellerofpurple said, on February 2, 2013 at 3:56 pm

    JeffB, I have not seen a snake handling resurgence. Have you? :o)

  12. lydiasellerofpurple said, on February 2, 2013 at 4:01 pm

    “I like the one where a Reformed blogger asked the other Reformed pastors commenting what they were going to do about me calling him a heretic.”

    You did not get the memo. Only they are allowed to use that word for others. Even their pope, Al Mohler, suggested those who wrote the Traditional statement in the SBC as an antidote to the rise of the YRR doctrinal stances were teaching heresy. He worded it carefully but it was there and enough to please the troops. The pope has spoken. His problem was that his followers were foaming at the mouth calling it heresy. Al is at such a level that it is about power not doctrine. Doctrine is what rallies the youngens to follow him. They have truth. We do not.

    Mohler even later suggested that those who supported the Traditional statement of beliefs should be marginalized. That man has serious power issues. And his yes men trustess and SBC leadership go right along….

  13. trust4himonly said, on February 2, 2013 at 4:20 pm

    Better watch it Paul- you might just find a rope hanging outside your window one morning.

    This is so JUVENILE of these men to be talking like this- Come on grow up!! If you can’t handle criticism what good is your doctrine? Obviously truth hurts does it not??

  14. trust4himonly said, on February 2, 2013 at 4:28 pm

    Not that I am a fan of Ayn Rand or anything but this quote is quite good:

    “People think that a liar gains a victory over his victim. What I’ve learned is that a lie is an act of self-abdication, because one surrenders one’s reality to the person to whom one lies, making that person one’s master, condemning oneself from then on to faking the sort of reality that person’s view requires to be faked…The man who lies to the world, is the world’s slave from then on…There are no white lies, there is only the blackest of destruction, and a white lie is the blackest of all.”
    ― Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

    so the Calvinist can make their doctrine as white as possible but it is still a lie- it is still bleeds through.

  15. JeffB said, on February 2, 2013 at 7:45 pm

    Paul – Mind telling me why the elder did that? Assuming there’s a reason.

    Lydia – I would guess that those who would lead a snake handling resurgence are all dead. There are no resurgences of urine cake-making or urine tasting either. At least, I hope not.

  16. paulspassingthoughts said, on February 2, 2013 at 8:10 pm

    “Transparency” Not long after that they started bringing members up on church discipline for not tithing.

  17. paulspassingthoughts said, on February 2, 2013 at 8:12 pm

    Really, it’s fun going to those churches–just a stinking sideshow. The circus couldn’t hold a candle to any of them.

  18. paulspassingthoughts said, on February 2, 2013 at 8:14 pm

    It’s the same elder who preached a sermon stating that spiritual growth only occurs through elder preaching.

  19. Lydia said, on February 3, 2013 at 2:52 pm

    “It’s the same elder who preached a sermon stating that spiritual growth only occurs through elder preaching”

    Well Paul, the Reformation put the preacher center stage instead of the sacraments. So they really believe this about themselves and our spiritual growth. It must come from “them”. The Reformation just replaced idolatry made of the sacraments……. with a human idol.

    It was inevitable history has progressed from the theo-political preacher to the celebrity preacher. All using Jesus to their own ends.

  20. Headless Unicorn Guy said, on February 8, 2013 at 5:15 pm

    Other than the intimidation of armed in-house security forces, they are using “biblical counseling” to compile information on people that can be used to control them.

    Just like Scientology does with Auditing!

    (Except the neo-Cal’s don’t have Hubbard E-Meters…)

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